


Beautiful Sin

by JMRabbit13



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Claustrophobia, F/M, Incest, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Incest, Slow Romance, past trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-04-25 12:30:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14378688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JMRabbit13/pseuds/JMRabbit13
Summary: She loves him. For as long as she could remember. More than you would think. She really does. To the point that she can't stand it. So why is she always giving him the cold shoulder? Why does she stay as far from him as possible? That's simple. It's out of the guilt that he's her older brother.





	1. Dream

_**She forced her feet to move as fast as she could to her destination, and as she did a smile was painted across her face from ear to ear. All because of one person. She forced her five year old legs forward all to reach just one person.** _

_**The background around her was all nothing but blurs of color because nothing else mattered but the familiar back she saw. "Onii-chan!" She shrieked out with pure joy.** _

_**Her happiness only grew when the ten year old turned to look at her, and he gave her that familiar smile that never failed to make her heart leap. "Haruka." He said with a voice so gentle and kind.** _

_**With her face heating red, her smile growing wide, her purple eyes sparkling brightly, and her heart threatening to pound out of her chest, she happily jumped up into him. She knew he would catch her, and she knew his arms would feel warm. These arms of his were always her safe place. It was because**_ **he** _**was her safe place.**_

_**He always felt warm and was always so gentle. She breathed in his scent of sunlight and mint, and she felt herself begin to calm. She felt his hair-that was always a little too long-tickle her face, and she could hear the steady rhythm of his own heart.** _

_**Everything about him made her feel like she was really home. When she was in his arms she felt the need to just stay in them forever. To just be with him forever. "I love you, Onii-chan!" She honestly cried with pure joy.** _

_**She felt absolutely happy to have this boy, the most wonderful person in the whole world, be her older brother.** _

Haruka snapped her eyes open from her dream, and she quickly tried to blink away the dizzy haze that always came from waking up. Light barely gleamed into the room, but it still felt so blinding.

She managed to pull herself up to sit up straight on her bed, and she tried to look around her room properly. It took a second or two, but memories of her dream began to flood back into her tired mind, and she felt her face immediately flush. Her brows furrowed as she stared down at her hands gripping tightly onto the sheets.

She hated dreams like those. Dreams plagued with childish memories that had yet to be tainted by what was reality. She hated reminiscing on her innocent years before she realized the truth of how disgusting her feelings were. '...I know why I had that dream.' She quietly thought in her head. 'It's because _he's_ coming today…'

Frustration built up in her chest and she couldn't hold it all in. So, she quickly grabbed her pillow and chucked across the room to harshly hit the wall.

'Damn it!' She yelled in her head as she gave a look of pure frustration to were the pillow laid helplessly on the floor. 'Of course _he'd_ finish getting _his_ master's degree _this_ early! Of course _he_ had to be a fricken natural genius! Of course _he'd_ decide to come spend time with his family before he tried for his doctoral! Of course _he'd_ decide to come back!' She yelled in her head.

Eventually she found her knees drawn up to her face and her hands curled up into long black hair. She'd been trying for years to try keeping a wall between them. Once she found out how wrong her feelings were she tried to draw him away from her with rude and harsh behavior. When he moved for college she tried everything she could to keep herself from having to visit _him_ , or to keep her out of the house when _he_ came to visit. But now _he_ was going to be living in the same house as her, and there was no way to hide from that.

Haruka just felt completely frustrated, angry, and helpless.

She was frustrated that all the work she went into trying to keep _him_ out of her life was going all to nothing because he's just coming back into her life, bringing it back to square one. She was angry that _he had_ to be a prodigy in almost everything he did, and that he managed to go beyond normal people and finishing school ridiculously early-at only 21. She was… helpless… because there was still a part of her that felt exponentially proud and happy… 'Even after everything… I'm still…'

For so long she has tried and tried and tried, but she still couldn't get rid of the fact that she was still- _painfully_ -in love with him. And there's not a day that goes by where she doesn't hate herself for it.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Haru, you haven't finished eating?" Her mother said, worry in her tone, as she looked over at her only daughter.

Haruka was snapped out of her daydreaming and looked at her mother with a forced smile. "I'm just not really that hungry."

Her mother just sighed. "Both you and your brother I guess."

Haruka looked over at her fraternal twin and saw that he was half asleep as he absentmindedly stared down at his untouched breakfast. She knew he was tired because he was dragged into another gaming tournament by a certain blonde neighbor of theirs. He glanced up at the mention of him, but quickly just looked back down.

Haruka just looked back to her mother. "Oka-san, do we all really have to be there?" 'Can't I just barricade myself in my room?'

Her mother rolled her eyes at the question, but not in a rude way-her mother was never rude. "I know you're not on the best terms with your brother-for whatever reasons-but we all have to be there for him when he gets off that plane. That's what families for."

...Haruka loved her mother, and she knew she'd never mean to hurt her. However, words like 'brother' and 'family' just made the pain in her chest just grow.

Her mother didn't seemed to notice, and she left the room to go check on her husband.

Haruka just sighed as she leaned back onto her chair-tired from today already.

"Are you going to be ok, Haru?" Sasuke asked her.

She looked to him as he stared at her with questioning eyes. The only relief she could have was that she had _someone_ who knew about her feelings, and still accepted her despite of it.

She forced on a tires smile as she gave a weak shrug. "We'll see."


	2. Airport

"Haru." Sasuke's voice was a flat seriousness, but Haruka could still tell he was just worried.

She appreciated it, she really did. The only person she ever told about her feelings toward her brother was actually her other brother. He was the only one she could talk to about how it all made her feel, and he listen to it all with pure interest. He'd even help her in getting out of having to even _see him_ in the past three years. He knew, he understood, and Haruka couldn't be more grateful to have him, but she didn't want to burden him anymore than she already has.

She just got to her feet, and ruffled his hair-identical to hers, only short-and gave him the best fake smile she could make. "Don't worry too much over it." She grabbed her plate, and moved to put it into a container. "I'll deal with it when I get to it."

But Haruka could still feel his black eyes drilling into her back as she tried to ignore him. 'He knows I'm putting an act.' She thought quietly. 'But, he also knows that he can't break my act.'

She heard Sasuke sigh out of defeat as he brought his own plate-that he'd hardly touched-and stood next to her waiting until she was done. "It's stuff like this that make you so self destructive." He murmured lowly.

Her smile didn't fall, but it did sadden just a little more. 'I know.' "I don't know what you're talking about."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

_**Grrrrrrr** _

"Hahh. I told you two to eat before we left." Haruka's mother sighed as both her and Sasuke held on to their stomachs in discomfort.

Their father-who refused to wear anything other than a suit-just stood over his sitting family with his eyes glued to his watch. Haruka looked up to him and asked him the time, his only reply was, "Three minutes since last time you asked."

She just sighed and slumped into her seat some more-a little content that she can just play it off as her wanting to leave faster. Anxiety built up in her chest as time seemed to be going just a little too fast. 'I thought it was only one minute.' She thought defeated. 'So the plane will be landing in nine minutes now. We got to the single digits…'

This is where she began to have the more irrational thoughts than just 'How can I keep myself calm?' or 'How long will this take?'. She began mentally panicking over the fact that _he_ actually had to come, then hoping that there's plane troubles so she doesn't have to see _him_ , then snapping immediately to worry that there will be plane trouble, and then her slapping herself out of her own insanity.

Finally her mind went right back over to the most terrifying thought of all, 'What if I slip up?' Her lips pressed together tightly at the painful idea. It was the very thing she worried over constantly for the past eleven years. 'He'd be disgusted. He'd never want to see me again. He'd hate me for the rest of his life.'

"Haru, I'm hungry. Go buy me something."

Haruka blinked a little before looking at Sasuke.

"Sasuke, don't be so rude." Their mother warned with no real threat in the tone.

"Stop referring to your sister by her first name." Their father said halfheartedly-eyes still glued to the ticking watch.

Haruka stared a moment longer before realizing two thing; just how much she's shaking, and the seriousness of Sasuke's eyes. 'Thanks.' "I'm hungry too, anyways-I have some pocket money too. I'll go see if there's a McDonalds around here."

Her mother looked at her with a disappointed look. Haruka knew how much her mother wanted all of them together to be the first thing _he_ saw when _he_ got off the plane. "Ok, but hurry back."

Haruka forced a smile on as she got up to her feet. "Don't worry I will." She looked to her father one more time before going off. "Oto-san, what time is it?"

"Five minutes since the last time you asked."

'Damn, I thought it was one.'

. . . . . . . . . . . .

'Hahhh… McDonalds might have been packed, but wouldn't that have been a good thing? It would have meant that I had to wait a lot longer… But I'm not too big on crowds I guess-damn my mental problems.' She scratched the back of her head as she waited for the vending machine to verify her money. 'Guess you're going to have to stick with pretzels, Sasuke.'

As she punched in the numbers she glanced up at the clock above her, and sighed out. 'The plane landed five minutes ago… _he's_ probably already with them.' Her heart plummeted to her stomach, and she felt the need to just curl up here and never return home come to.

She went down to her knees to try grabbing out the bag of pretzels, the box of pockys, and two boxes of Pringles. 'Maybe I can jump on a plane while one of the attendants aren't looking. I've always wanted to see London-'

"Haruka?"

She felt her heart rate plummet for a second, until it began loudly pounding away-until she could hear it in her head. Her blood raced facer, and she could feel herself suddenly feel warmer. She suddenly held on tightly for dear life on her items-hearing something in its seal crack. And her eyes widened in the slightest to the sound of the only person in the world that still called her 'Haruka'.

Her thoughts then trailed to what she was wearing. She hated this voice, and tried to ignore it, but there was of course a side of her that was worrying about her attire-something she hardly ever gave much thought to. She was wearing faded black skinny jeans a size too big for her, a black t-shirt for _Shingeki no Kyojin_ , her old red tennis shoes, and a large grey hoodie-considering it's still chilly out. She even became painfully self conscious over having her hair in a ponytail that she put very little effort it.

She took a big gulp, and tried to bring herself together-feeling the familiarity of her fake persona take over. Her eyes slightly narrowed, her posture straightened up to perfection, the snacks she bought were held in her crossed arms, and all together she made herself as hostile as possible.

Haruka couldn't look him straight in the eyes, so she just tried to look just above his eyes. But it still hurt, not as much as getting lost in his eyes, but it still hurt unbelievably. 'He hardly changed.' She realized. 'The only thing that's changed is that he got taller, and his hair got a little longer.' Somehow that stung, and she realized that she had been hoping he'd change some more until she could fool herself into thinking he's not who she's been so desperately in love with-despite how ridiculous that actually sounds.

The thing that hurt her most, was that smile. He had that warm gentle smile he used to always wear when he was around the family-the smile that she fell in love with as a child. There was a bittersweet feeling to this. On one hand, he was the reason she felt constant hate on herself, why she can hardly ever sleep at night, why she has to lie about who she has a crush on, why she's pretty sure she's developed chronic depression, and all together made her life a living hell, and yet he had the audacity to smile at her as though everything were alright… But… she always treats him coldly because of all of that, and yet…he still doesn't hate her.

"Hello, Haruka. I haven't seen you in a long time. It's good to finally be seeing you instead of just looking at pictures Oka-san keeps throwing at me." His voice is, of course, as straightforward yet oozing with kindness as usual.

It hurt to look straight at him-especially after so long, but she bit down on her tongue until she could be sure her voice wouldn't betray her.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Oto-san and Oka-san?" She purposely said in the harshest voice she could muster.

But, like always, he just kept smiling at her as though she had done no wrong. "I greeted them earlier, but since she said you'd probably take a while I thought I'd use the restroom quick."

'The restroom? Why didn't he just use the one on the plane?' "That, so. Well that's your fault for not going on the plane." 'Just try to leave. Just try to leave. Just try to leave.' But Haruka found it hard to find feeling in her legs, and could only stand where she was and try to play the part well. But she felt herself falling apart more and more, little by little. His voice, his eyes, his smile, and his scent-despite being so far-it was all giving absolutely no help in her self control.

"I suppose, but Haruka. Sasuke said you went to McDonald's why are you at the vending machines-?"

"It was crowded over there that's why? Are we done here because I need to go." She snapped at his slightly worried tone, and-forcing feeling back into her legs-tried to stalk away.

But-

"Eep!" She gave a small squeak as she felt the pressure of his fingers tap her forehead. She cringed, and she took a step back. It took everything she had to not have her hand fly up to where the tingling warmth still lied, or to even look up-feeling the redness take over her face.

"It's good to see you again, Haruka." His voice spoke in a way that she knew he only did that to get her attention, to get a reaction, to make sure that she didn't stomp away like a child before he could say that one line. That one line that tore away at her insides ruthlessly.

'Why? Why are you so damn nice to me? Haven't I been trying for years to have you back away? To not give me so much attention? To not have to see your damn face as much as I actually do?! I'm trying not to spill my guts here, and yet you still say stupid stuff like this?! Why?! Why can't you just _...just…leave me the hell alone_!'

Her thoughts flew, and she let only her anger toward him-nothing else-fuel her next move. As she clung to her food goods tightly in one arm-whether she meant to or not she didn't know-she used her other hand to send a fist straight up at him. Putting as much force as she could possibly put into someone that's existence she absolutely hated to the core yet still loved more than she could ever tell.

And, of course, being the man he is, he blocked it with no problem-only showing her mild surprise. She tried to ignore the warmth of his hand as he held her fist, tried to ignore his stare as he looked to her for an answer, and all together tried to ignore everything that she ever and does love about him, and just tried to think of the inferiority of the entire moment. Her eyes to the floor, her tone settled into only hostility, and her body kindly still.

"Don't treat me like a child." Was all she could muster.

She didn't look to him as she pulled her fist back, she didn't look to him when she stalked away, and she didn't look to anyone else as she found her body moving on its own as she found her way into a random restaurant. It didn't matter which one, or even how many people were there-screw her claustrophobia-she went right into one with her head held low and strayed right into the restroom, barged into a stall-ignoring any protest-and locked herself right in.

Almost immediately she just held onto herself tightly-hardly realizing just how crumbled the items in her arms were-and just cried-something she hoped will all her heart she wouldn't do today. Yes, she heard some people knock on her stall door to check if she was ok, but as long as she just ignored them they soon walked away. She just cried and cried and cried, and every time she tried to pull herself together she'd just cry some more.

She hated to be helpless, and she hated to have her feeling take control, but, 'Damn it it's his fault!' is what she kept telling herself. Despite how little she actually believed those words. Despite how much she actually blamed herself ever and each day for this. She still tried to somehow calm herself with these weak words. 'It's his fault.' As though blaming someone else for her own revolting feelings could change the state of her own being.

" _Damn it,_ " She said in a voice that was painful enough to say, yet still quiet enough to hardly be heard, " _Itachi_ _._ "

. . . . . . . . . . . .

He just stood there. He had watched her react to his touch, throw a punch at him-she was as strong as ever-and he watched her walk right away. He stood there for a few minutes longer, thinking, analyzing, and comparing her actions to how they used to always be just three years ago. And, with a tired sigh, he just walked off to where the signs pointed to. His only thought as he continued to think of his little sister was simple, conclusive, and with the belief of it only being a simple matter.

'She still has a crush on me.'


	3. Hinata

"Haru-chan, are you ok?"

It was the soft spoken voice that shot Haruka out of her daze. She gave her mind a mental slap and turned to face her friend with as much of a smile as she could muster. "Yeah, I'm just fine, Hinata-chan." To help the act a bit more, Haruka ate up a piece of her teriyaki chicken with a smile on her face.

Hinata still looked at her with concern as she picked at her own bento. "It's just that you've been seeming a little zoned out lately. Is everything alright."

Haruka stared down at her food for a moment-contemplating her thoughts-and just sighed while slumming back into her seat. "I guess I'm having trouble adjusting back at home. You know, what with...it it being a little more crowded."

"Oh!" Haruka watched Hinata's eyes go wide with realization, and then fall back down out of guilt.

'She knows I don't like talking about him.' She thought to herself, just a little bit more grateful despite her not being able to tell her why.

Haruka just put on another smile and began eat her food-willing herself to not think about it. "But anyways, how was your date with Naruto?"

She tried to hold in a laugh at the way Hinata's face suddenly went bright red, and how her oddly colored eyes widened into two big orbs. "IIIIIIIIT WASN'T A DDDDATE!"

Haruka was glad they were sitting on the roof-far from anyone else-so that no one else could witness Hinata's reaction to Haruka's teasing. "You went to the movies didn't you?"

Hinata began looking more and more flustered, but her voice switched to being quietly embarrassed. "Y-Yes, b-but Neji-nii, Kiba-san, and Tenten-san also went." Haruka could hear the hint of disappointment in her soft voice-making her wish that Neji didn't invite himself along when he heard her and Sasuke couldn't make it to their four person trip.

Haruka played with her chopsticks for a moment until she looked back up at Hinata-who was blushing mad while staring down at her bento. "...Do you ever plan to tell him?"

This, of course, caused Hinata to jump, but she relaxed soon enough-her eyes still down. "I...I don't know if I-"

_**SLAM!** _

"Haru-chan~!"

Haruka flinched at the sound of the roof door slamming open, and then mentally groaned when she realized who it was. So, to get it all over with, she turned to face the blonde walking toward her-with a slight skip in her step. "Isn't Haruno-san supposed to be with you?" She didn't speak harshly, but she didn't speak friendly either. This is because she didn't _hate_ this girl, but she didn't like the reason she usually bugged her.

Ino, in response just kept smiling with a slight sly as she walked over to the two lone girls. "Sakura-chan caught a little cold today, so she's out sick right now."

"That so? Well give her my condolences, bye." Haruka went back to eating her rice-hoping she'd try to take the hint.

But, of course, Ino just gave a slight pout with her hands to her hips. "Hey, don't be so rude! I just wanted to ask you something." That sly smile of hers just came right back up as she looked down to Haruka.

Who, was actually just trying to make this daily occurance go by faster. "For the last time Ino, I'm not going to help you get closer to Sasuke." She tried not to sound annoyed, but the tiredness was as clear as day.

Ino, to Haruka's surprise, didn't pout, frown, nor did her smile fade in the slightest-something that typically happens at this point of the conversation. "Don't worry, I'm not here for that-today. Actually, I'm here because I wanted to clarify a certain little thing." Haruka raised a brow at the blonde as she leaned in a little with a hand cupping a side of her mouth. "Is it true that your older brot-"

**_SLAM!_ **

Once again the door was slammed open, and everyone's eyes immediately flew to look-giving Haruka a moment to breathe. Standing at the doorway was a slightly sweaty Sasuke who glared directly at Ino.

"Oi, Yamanaka, Sensei's looking for you." As he spoke coldly Haruka could feel the annoyance spilling out of him like a broken dam.

Ino, suddenly stiffened up, just smiled nervously at Sasuke. "I-Is that so? W-Well I guess that's my cue to leave. See you, Haru, Hinata." And with that she paced out the door, and Sasuke closed it right behind her-with more force than Haruka would prefer.

As Sasuke walked back over to them, Haruka didn't hold back to give him a disapproving look. "Don't bee too harsh with her Sasuke, she was only curious."

He just scoffed as he took his seat against the fence. "Nosy more like." And he gave her that look that said it was to help her, and he knew she was grateful.

Haruka just sighed aloud as she continued to eat her bento.

"Sasuke-kun, didn't you pack a bento?" Hinata asked him with that typical worry of hers.

Haruka looked up and watched Sasuke's eyes go to her, and, with a heavy heart, watched his cheeks lightly tint with red. "I didn't have time to make one this morning." Haruka felt a bit guilty-even though she knew Sasuke wouldn't blame her-because it was her rushing to leave the house first chance she had that had them both leaving earlier.

Hinata's worried look only grew when she heard this, and Haruka noticed her eyes look down at her bento for a moment. For Sasuke's own good, before Hinata had the chance to offer her food, Haruka pulled out some money she kept in her jacket. "Here, go buy yourself something to eat, we have practice later so you need to eat."

He just looked at her the same way she would look at him, gratitude. "Thanks, Haru." He just took the money and began getting back up to his feet.

"Um, Sasuke-kun?" Hinata's shy voice piped in, the voice that usually meant she had a certain blonde in mind. Haruka saw that Sasuke noticed this, and slightly stiffened up. He didn't say anything, but Hinata knew him too well to know that this just meant she may continue. "Do… Do you know where N-Naruto-kun i-is?"

Haruka stared directly at the back of her beloved twin brother-already aware of the expression on his face. She felt immense pity for him as he just stood there-seemingly thinking about the answer.

"...Him and the others got in trouble again, so Iruka-sensei is holding them in for lunch-the idiots."

Hinata's expression fell, and she looked down at her bento with a disappointed look. "Th-That so…?"

Sasuke stood there for a moment longer before finally walking out the door-too lost in thought to close it on his way out.

Haruka stared at the opened door a little longer before deciding to just leave it open-it's not snowing or anything. She looked back to a down Hinata. 'She was planning to tell him today?' "...Hey, Hinata, have you seen the new episode of Durarara X2 yet?" Haruka said with a big smile-deciding it best to just change to topic.

Hinata perked up, and looked back up at her, and eventually her small smile came back to her lips. "Uh huh. It was very nice."

"It was wasn't it, I was really surprised when…"

And the conversation went on and on, but even as Haruka enjoyed her talk with one of her few female friends she couldn't get her thoughts on her younger brother.

Sasuke was the only person that knew about her… _feelings_ , just as she was the only one that knew about his own. That was probably how it worked well with them. They both had their own problems with their emotions, and they both knew that it was all a dead end. Sasuke has been in love with the same girl since he met her in kindergarten, but she's been hopelessly in love with their knucklehead friend. Haruka has been in love with the same boy since she could understand what it meant to love, but… _that_.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"You were off today."

Haruka looked over at Sasuke as they slowly walked back home. "Was I? I thought I was ok, I did beat Shikamaru."

"You're stronger than him physically wise."

"...I guess."

"Was it still about-"

"Yes…"

They walked in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable-silences wasn't uncomfortable with them. But she felt more pressure than she would prefer. Haruka had hoped that after some time the pressure she felt whenever she went home would weigh less after enough time, but-of course-she wasn't allowed that.

Every time she walks into her own home she has to be on guard from spending too much time anywhere near him… 'Am I allowed to just move out at sixteen?'

"Haru," Haruka snapped out of it and looked back up to see their home, "do you want me to go in first?"

She just stared as he opened the gate to their house. Her grip slightly tightened on her school bag. "Yeah."

"Alright."

They walked up the large front yard-passing the koi fish pond, cherry blossoms, and small bridges-up to their front door.

Once they got to it, Sasuke opened the door, walked in, and Haruka stalked closely behind.

As she took off her shoes she just tried thinking about her homework that needs to get done toni-

"Oh, Sasuke, Haruka." She flinched-as she was putting on her slippers.

But, thankfully, Sasuke almost immediately blocked him from her view. "We're back, Nii-san."

"Welcome back. Oto-san and Oka-san are out today, Oto-san had a business dinner so-"

"I'll be in my room." 'Follow the drill Follow the drill'

She walked past the both of them-willing herself to not take a peek.

"Dinner's ready at nine Haruka."

'We all know I'm not going.' She thought with a hungry stomach.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

'I wish she'd at least eat properly.' Itachi thought with worry as he watched his sister pace down the hall toward the stairs.

"Nii-san." He snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at his younger brother, and, on reflex, gave him a smile. "I'll bring Haru her dinner later."

Itachi wanted to eat dinner with all three of them-he really did-but he knew he couldn't fighting her stubbornness. "Thank you. I'm making her favorite, curry." He wanted to see the way her eyes just lit up when she ate his special curry.

Sasuke just stared at him a little longer-already expecting what Itachi was going to ask next.

"Sasuke, can you tell me about your guys' day today?"

In response, he just nodded at him, and they walked the opposite direction of Haruka to sit in their living room.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"She got top of her class again?" Itachi smiled, remembering how hard she studies.

"Yeah, but she just said that if Shikamaru actually tried he would have made it instead. Honestly, she complains too much."

Itachi just chuckled a bit. "She's just modest. Though, there wouldn't be anything wrong with her bragging now and again."

"It is Haru."

"How was the martial arts club?"

"The usual. Haru was a little off today, but she still beat every practice match today." Sasuke picked up his oolong tea and drank some more.

"'Off'? How come?" 'Is it because of me again?' A weight of guilt fell on him at the thought.

Sasuke just stared down at him cup for a split moment, but acted completely normal again the next. "I think she's just been having trouble sleeping lately."

Itachi didn't blame Sasuke for lying. He knew he was just trying to help Haruka hide her feelings.

He just went back to asking more questions about how their day went.

Itachi enjoyed these moments. He couldn't talk to Haruka about her day-of course-but this was the closest he could get to hearing about what she's been up to. He loved to hear about Sasuke's day to-he is his precious younger brother-but there was a certain thing he loved hearing about how Haruka's been up to that made him happy.

His precious little sister was really turning into young lady.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

_"Kimi wa oujo boku wa meshitsukai_

_Unmei wakatsu aware na futago…"_

'And… That's it.' Haruka let out a big breath of air as she put down her pencil, and leaned back into her swivel chair.

She just listened to the music quietly as she faintly thought of nothing in particular.

'...Maybe I should start Assassination Classroom. Naruto keeps bugging me about that one for a while.'

_KNOCK KNOCK_

Haruka looked over to her door and felt her heart leap uncomfortably.

"Haru, I'm leaving your food out here."

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in. "Okay…"

Haruka listened to his footsteps as they trailed down the hall to his own room, and she got out of her seat to slowly walk to her door. She opened her door quietly, and looked down at the plate left for her.

'...His curry…' Her lips pressed together hard as she just picked up the plate and chopsticks, and made her way back inside.

She placed the food down onto the small table in the center of her room, and took a seat down on her zabuton. For the longest time she just stared down at the plate, and tried to throw away any happy memories threatening to play over in her head. She didn't want to think about when he made it for her when she was sick, when she was sad, or just to make her happy.

'...Maybe I'll spend the night at Hinata's tomorrow.'


	4. Storage Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ferna52: Well thank you for the compliment! I hope I can keep it interesting :)

"Naruto, for the last time I don't want another rematch."

"Come on Haru-chan! The last times were total flukes, I'll beat you this time!"

Haruka just sighed and looked down to the floor exhausted. She wasn't even supposed to spare today, it was her turn to help the middle school martial arts kids learn some basic moves for their fieldtrip. This wasn't much of a surprise though, considering it's Naruto. She loves her dear, dear childhood friend-just as much as she did Hinata-but she's really tired of him either pestering her or Sasuke for a rematch every time they had martial arts practice.

She just gave Naruto one more tired look-looking straight into his blazing blue eyes as he wore his signature grin-...

"Now, why don't we move on to spin kicks?" She gave the confused group a big upperclassmen smile.

"Hey! Don't just ignore m-!"

Before Naruto could let out another word Haruka quickly spun around and raised her foot to harshly hit the side of Naruto's face. He let out a single cry of pain before falling to the floor. After he twitched a few times-reassuring that he's still alive-Haruka let out a sigh and turned around to face the bewildered children with her smile again.

"That's an example of how it works, and I'm sure Haruna-San explains how to do it last week?" They all nodded in union-not knowing whether to be amazed or terrified. "Alright, then go practice on the dummies against the wall."

"Hai!" They all began running toward said dummies, and Haruka spotted a group of three together smiling as they ran.

"Did you see how hard she kicked Big Brother Naruto?! I even saw some blood!"

"Konohamaru, remember to _only_ hit the dummies this time!"

"Yes sensei!" He didn't look back to her and was barely believable.

But, she only sighed and looked down at her knuckle-headed friend. "You ok Naruto?"

However, as he was getting up to sit right, his only response was, "What the heck Haru-chan?! What was that for?! That really hurt like Hell!"

"Yeah, sorry about that." She gave him a guilty smile.

Naruto just stared at her for a while and groaned. "You know I can't be mad at you when you make that face, it makes me look like the bad guy. Alright, alright, I forgive you!"

Haruka gave him a big smile as he got back up to his feet. 'Works every time.' She thought gleefully.

"Besides, you're so thick in the skull that you work as a perfect dummy!" Haruka looked behind Naruto and spotted the familiar voice with a look showing she knew just where this was going.

Naruto spun around and glared harshly as said person. "Shut up Kiba! You're just mad because your best friends isn't here to sniff your butt!"

In response Kida switched from happily joking to glaring right back. "Hey! Don't you talk about Akamaru that way! At least I don't go off asking to get my ass kicked by Sasuke or Haru!"

"Those times were just flukes!"

Haruka just stood back and wondered if she should step in or let it die on its own.

'Speaking of Sasuke, he's taking a really long time in the bathroom.' Haruka silently thought to herself. '...Maybe he ran into Karin again...' She silently hoped that he wouldn't let his temper get the better of him if that were the case.

Karin was somehow a bigger fan of Sasuke than Sakura or Ino-'course Sasuke isn't Ino's only target. Karin was always going to great lengths to try and seduce him, even going so far as to _accidentally_ walking into the boys' locker room with nothing but a towel on when Sasuke was the only one in there. The only reason Haruka knew about _that_ is because Naruto had walked in on it-earning a black eye from Karin for it-and he later complained about how all the girls are after Sasuke-'poor Hinata'.

Haruka had absolutely nothing against Karin-other than her trying to de flower her brother-but she wasn't too fond of listening to Sasuke complain about how weird the girls at their school are. She also just wished Karin wouldn't go so far and actually catch the hint-for her and Sasuke's own good.

"Come on Big Brother Naruto, you can beat him!"

Haruka just stared at her two friends as each of them began moving forward to make a grab at the other's shirt to-try-and punch them. She sighed at Konohamaru's excited cheers and realized she will have to step in this time… Or Sasuke.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Come on Sasuke-kun, I know a good place where we can be alone~. I know how much you don't like to be interrupted~."

"If you know so well, then get out of the way." Once again he tried to go around the red head-wearing her tracksuit-only to have her block his way- _accidentally_ pushing up her cleavage just a bit more.

"Or don't be so cruel Sasuke-kun~. I just want to get _closer_ to you~."

Once again, Karin has tried to corner him into being intimate, and he promised Haru that he wouldn't hurt her-or any one of his annoying fan girls. So, not only did he have to hold himself back, but he also had to try getting her to knock it off.

"Karin, for the last time, I don't care, and I'm not interested, so just move-"

"Sasuke!"

He paused and-with relief-looked up to see Haru peeking into the hallways from corner wall-obviously trying to not look directly at Karin.

"Naruto and Kida are getting into another fight, so I need you to come and break it up."

He would complain that she could have easily done it herself, but he could tell just what she was trying to do. "Fine, Karin move."

She opened her mouth in protest for a moment until she seemed to have thought about it and pressed her lips together in a pout while moving out of the way.

As Sasuke walked passed her-toward his rescuer-he watched Haru turn back around to get back to the dojo. He also heard the red head mutter something under her breathe, but decided to just ignore it.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Now, are you sure they were on their best behavior?"

"Yes, Ebisu-san, they were."

"Even Konohamaru?"

"Yes, very much." Haruka decided to let the fact that he skipped out on practice to try and help Naruto against Kida slid this time.

Ebisu-san just stared at her longer-trying to look past her smile. He just sighed and nodded to her. "If you say so. Now class, thank Uchiha-san and follow me."

Haruka just watched-with slight discomfort-as all the kids bowed to her and all said in union. "Thank you for lending us your dojo!" She really wished it was someone else's shift today-she's always been a bit discomforted with formality.

"You're all very welcome." She said as she began closing the door.

Once it was closed she finally let her smile drop and sighed out of exhaustion. 'I love those kids, but I really prefer it when Iruka-sensei is picking them up.'

"You still haven't changed, Haru-chan?"

Haruka turned around and saw Naruto change into his school uniform with his bag over his shoulder. Her eyes also curiously looked at the bandage on his forehead-Kida had an identical one.

"Yeah, I just sent the kids out. Why are you barely leaving?" He was usually the first out the door since Ichiraku's place closed a couple minutes after practice on the weekdays.

He just gave her a big grin-that showed just how proud he is for whatever he's about to do. "I thought I'd just go check on sick little Hinata-chan and make her feel better."

Haruka's eyes widened a little, and she didn't know whether to be happy or worried.

In the end she just nervously smiled at Naruto-oblivious to the 'nervously' part. "Really?"

"Yup! I even got her some ramen from the store-since I can't bring her Ichiraku's-and something my mom made for her!"

"W-Well, tell her I said to get better soon."

"No problem. Later!"

"Bye."

Haruka watch Naruto happily go through the door, and just stared a while at it closed. Then, she just let out a little laugh under her breath. 'Good luck Hinata-chan.'

She finally walked away and decided to just change, find Sasuke, and leave-

"Haru-san!"

Haruka blinked a little and turned around to find Karin-for some reason still in her tracksuit-holding two bags of some track equipment.

"Hi, Karin-san." Haruka just looked at her confused.

Karin put the bag down, dashed over to her and clasped her hands together. "I'm really sorry, but can you help me with something?"

. . . . . . . . . . . .

_"It's my turn to put the equipment away, but I have to get home quick since my sick grandma is in the hospital. Do you think you can do it for me?"_

Haruka knew it was a lie, and also not that convincing of one. Since her, Karin, and Sasuke were the last students on campus it was obvious what Karin was pulling. Get the big sister out of the way and then make a move on the brother.

It was all easy to read, but for some reason Haruka still just said 'yes'. Of course she doesn't want Sasuke to be lured into sex-she's still his older sister-but she's also aware that he'll fall for her tricks when Hell freezes over-she hopes.

…Maybe she just agreed because, somewhere in the back of her mind, the image of a certain someone came to mind… And she thought she was doing so much better lately...

"Haru, what the hell are you doing?"

She turned around to face Sasuke-also changed into his uniform-with a big smile. "Karin wanted to distract me so that she could make her move on you."

Sasuke just made a slightly annoyed expression and sighed. He walked over to Haruka, and began to walk with her. "So she had you put away the track equipment?"

"Yup. You can take a bag if you want."

"I'm not the one that decided to be overly helpful."

"Fair enough."

Haruka just continued smiling as Sasuke walked along sider her as they made their way behind the school to the equipment shed.

Sasuke opened the door for Haruka, and she walked inside-while he remained leaning on the door. She dropped the bags onto the floor and began digging out the stuff one by one to put them away-even though most people just let the bags as is.

After a while, she noticed Sasuke got impatient with her because he but the stopper on the door down, and began to walk over to the bags. Haruka just smiled a little at his reluctance help-

**_BAM_ **

**_BANG_ **

Haruka quickly looked at the door and saw that the door stopper had snapped back up and-in response-the door shut back closed.

Immediately-after taking a look at her-Sasuke ran to the door, and tried to open the metal door back up. But it was locked from the outside.

"Damn it!" Sasuke explained, and turned back to face Haruka.

She began to shake uncontrollably, and stared at the door longer- _harder_ -in hopes that it will magically open up. But it didn't, and she soon found herself looking to the floor-terrified to look at the door any longer.

As she stared down at the grey metal floor she began to become overly aware of just how small the shed was. The walls were too close together. There isn't enough air in a place like this.

She trembled more, and tried to breathe.

There's also too many things around her. Balls, nets, poles, etc. and they were just making the shed seem even smaller. There's not enough air in the room. There's also no way out.

She fell to her knees. "Haru!"

She can't escape. There's no way out. She could bang on the walls as much as she wants but they wouldn't budge. She could scream at them as much as she wanted but they wouldn't pity her.

She saw tears blur her vision, and she held onto herself tightly. "Damn it, where's my phone?"

She can't. She can't escape. She can't leave. And the airs getting lighter. She can barely breathe-even though she's trying so hard.

She couldn't stop her sobbing.

It's getting harder for her to breathe. It's getting tighter in the room. She can't pull herself together.

"Hey! We're stuck in here!"

_She can't breathe. She can't escape. She can't escape. She can't breathe. She can't breathe. She can't breathe. She can't escape._

_She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared. She's scared._

_' **Help. Me. Someone.** '_

. . . . . . . . . . . .

As soon as Itachi walked into the school-wondering where the guards or teachers were-he saw a red headed girl looking into one of the shoe lockers muttering to herself.

"Excuse me."

She shot up startled, and looked over to him. "I-I-I wasn't… Y-Yes?"

"Do you know where Sasuke and Haruka Uchiha are?"

They hadn't come back home yet, and their parents were beginning to worry-him as well.

She shut the locker shut, and just looked at him. "Um… I don't know where Sasuke is, but I think Haruka is- _maybe_ -in the equipment shed. J-Just a guess. I mean, they still haven't left school yet either."

Almost immediately the worst case scenario popped into his mind, and Itachi was suddenly afraid for Haruka's sake.

"Do you have a key to it?" He knew his tone was getting a little demanding, but he didn't care-not with a familiar memory playing in his head.

She suddenly looked a little terrified. "Y-Yes, but why-"

"Give them to me, _now_."

She shut her mouth tight and just nodded.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haruka was curled up into a ball tightly as she tried to sit as far away from _anything_ as possible, but even then she continued to struggle for air. Her chest began to constrict on itself, and she became more terrified.

She truly felt as though she were going to either die lack of oxygen, or the walls were going to come together and crush her. It was out of her control. She was just falling more and more into her own fears and she knew it, but she couldn't save herself from them either.

For a split second she thought she could see a metal wall only an inch away from her face-

"Sasuke! Haruka!"

Her eyes snapped open to the sound of her name, and she looked desperately at the door as she heard rattling of keys.

"Haruka!"

She knew this voice well, too well.

Without second thought she got up to her feet, and ran straight to the door, and banged on it with her shaking fist. "OPEN THE DOOR! PLEASE!"

Tears continued to stream down her face as she heard the turning of a key, and she trembled more and more-her knees threatening to buckle and let her fall back to the floor.

Then, the door began to open, and Haruka shoved it open. And, with a mind blurred with familiar fears, jumped right at the figure that stood outside. She desperately grabbed hold of him, and-with his familiar scent burning into her nose-cried and cried into his chest.

She didn't feel it as he began to sit down onto the floor-taking her with him. All she could understand was his scent, his comforting voice, his gentle caresses, and that through it all she desperately clung to him for support. For reassurance that she's really been saved.

She didn't want to let him go because she was terrified he'd go.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

He just looked down at her with shadowed eyes as he continued to try telling her over and over again "You're safe now, it's ok."

"Sasuke, how long were you in there?" Itachi didn't look at Sasuke as he stood over them.

There was a short silence that showed just how worried he was over Haruka. "…Nearly an hour."

Itachi pressed his lips together for a moment before going back to what he was doing.

He just stared down at her curled up form, and he felt his insides ripping apart. She was so lost into her own fears that she put aside her cold act just to feel better, just to make sure she really is safe. And his arms naturally tightened around her just a bit more.

She cried and cried and cried-undoubtedly replaying some memories she won't realize are memories.

He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to remember that day ever again. It was a horrible day to him and even worse for his little sister. Even now, as he looked down at her-sixteen years old-all he could see was that five year old that truly believed she had almost died. She was so small that day, and she clung to him with the same desperation that she was right now. And he just felt horribly sick to his stomach.

His precious little sister-that he loved so much-had once again fallen to more terror than she deserved, and it was his fault.

"It's ok Haruka, it's ok."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

**_She banged on the walls constantly with her hands so closely kept to her sides. Left, right, and right in front of her, but there wasn't a respond. She tried over and over to scream, but there was no replay._ **

**_Haruka tried over and over and over again but no one is saving her. 'No one is saving me! Why won't they let me out?! Can't they hear me?! Why aren't they listening?! Why?! Can't they see I can't breathe?! Do they want me to die?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!'_ **

**_The only response she got was a loud bang on one of the walls, and a twisted laugh of a grown man._ **

Haruka woke up with a snap, and shot up. Sweat dripping down her chin, and forming at her brow.

She panted loudly, trying to comprehend why she was no longer in a metal box… And she realized it's because she's no longer trapped in her dream.

Haruka looked down at her hands as they grabbed onto her sheets tightly, and she slowly willed herself to let go. She looked at her hands and only half expected to see sores from banging on the walls in her dream.

She figured she had that dream because of her panic attack only a few hours ago… The only thing she could be grateful out of today is that neither of her…brothers told their parents what happened, and just said her and Sasuke were kept busy with club activities…

…Over and over, she mentally slapped herself for what happened. She knew she was just drunk under fear of her own phobia, but she still… She was still…! She didn't know anymore, and she was too tired to figure it out.

All she knew was that she somehow, _specifically_ , yearned for _his_ touch and embrace… It was almost as though she couldn't believe she were safe if she didn't…

But, at the moment, that wasn't was made her feel sick. It was that-for some God knows reason-she expected that at any moment he was going to walk right into her room, and hold her-the same as he did earlier until she realized what she was doing and pushed him away… … … … … ...

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Sasuke only had to look at her once-head down with blankets and a pillow tightly in her grasp-before moving aside and letting her walk into his room.

He closed the door, and watched her as she began to lay out the blankets on the floor, and curl herself into them-her head resting quietly on her pillow.

After, a moment, Sasuke walked back to his bed, and went under his own sheets.

"Goodnight." He didn't expect a reply, and he didn't get one.

A part of him knew that she was going to come to his room tonight. When Itachi used to live with them, she'd usually do this about twice a month…

He didn't want to think about today-about how powerless he felt when his sister was having a break down-he didn't want to think about how she shut herself in her room as soon as they got home, he especially didn't want to think about how pathetically she held onto Itachi-as though he were her only source of living.

But, for some reason, he did think tiredly about the first time she wanted to sleep in his room-back when they were eight.

That was the day they both confessed about their broken hearts, about their unrequited loves, and when Haruka last cried in from of him.

…He quietly reached onto his bedside stand, and pulled in his phone to him. He turned it on and began going through his photo album. He found the picture he was looking for.

It was taken during a school trip-he didn't remember to where and he didn't care much to remember. It was taken at a beach, and it had two girls in it-both fully clothed.

His sister with her hair up and smiling brightly at the camera-she hadn't smiled like that in a while-wearing her Death Note T-Shirt.

And, Hinata. She was-of course-shyly smiling at the camera with a shine in her eyes. She had her hair down, and it lightly blew in the wind-he remembered. She was wearing that white sundress, and his jacket-not because she was cold, because the dress was a little see through.

He stared at her longer and longer, and felt a slight stung again when he remembered where Naruto told him he was going. He wanted to go visit his sick friend, but he didn't want to see her flustered over him again. He's already seen it enough times to last a life time.

He could remember when she nearly tripped when he walked with them to school. When she dropped her books when he said 'hi' to her in the hallways. When she stuttered when he asked her if she liked Natsu or Gray better. Since they were kids to only yesterday, it's been painted clear as day who she preferred, who lurked in her mind, who she dreamed about, and who she loved.

But he loved her, and Naruto didn't.

_He_ was always the one that defended her against people who talked down to her. _He_ was the one that talked to her about her father when she was sad. _He_ was the one that tried to give her whatever would make her smile. _He_ was the one that would give leg and arm just so that she wouldn't cry. _He_ was the one that was by her side since they were kids.

It was always _Him_ , _Sasuke_. So then why was it _Naruto_?

The sad part was that he couldn't even hate Naruto for it. He tried to when they were kids, but the more they were together the more he couldn't. He's an idiot sure, but he's still…his friend… The friend that stole the girl he loves without even knowing it.

Sasuke really did love Hinata, ever since they were kids. He loved her innocence, gentleness, shyness, and even the way she spoke. She's kind at heart, and doesn't give up. She would try her hardest for almost anyone else's sake, and never regret it. She's… She's his perfect little angel, but she's also not _his_.

She could never be his.

He's tried again and again to have her see _him_ , but eleven years is enough time to realize that it's hopeless…

'We're both doomed to love the wrong people, Haru.' He turned off his phone and shoved it under his pillow, and tried to sleep.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

**_He looked down at his cards and decided he didn't have enough purples. So, he looked up at Shisui. "You win." Itachi didn't feel bad about it because he still won the last three games._ **

**_Shisui grew a big smile and threw his cards over his shoulder, and they slowly fell down to the streets._ **

**_'Maybe playing on top of the Empire State Building wasn't a good idea.'_ **

**_"I don't want to play anymore, Itachi." Shisui said with a big smile on his face._ **

**_Itachi blinked at him a few times before just smiling back. "Ok, then what do you want to do?"_ **

**_"I want to talk."_ **

**_"What about?" He looked to the side and realized a cloud was right next to his head._ **

**_"I want to talk about Haru."_ **

**_Itachi's eyes slightly widened and he looked at his friend confused, and noticed his eyes were missing-leaving only black holes. "What about Haruka?"_ **

**_"She was scared again today wasn't she?" Shisui's smile was no longer there, and even without eyes, Itachi could tell he was glaring at him. "Why weren't you there for her? Don't you care about her?"_ **

**_Itachi got up on his feet, feeling either angry or hurt. "Of course I do!"_ **

**_"Then why weren't you there for her? She kept crying for you, but you weren't there."_ **

**_"I-"_ **

**_"Onii-chan!"_ **

**_He froze when he heard it. The familiar cry of his little sister. He spun around and saw a dark tunnel, and at the end of it, there was his five year old sister balling her eyes out._ **

**_Her hands were over her eyes, and her red tears trickled down her little cheeks. Her raven black hair was cut short messily, and her school uniform was torn and dirtied._ **

**_"Onii-chan!"_ **

**_"Haruka!" He immediately ran into the tunnel and tried to reach her._ **

**_"Onii-chan! I'm scared! I'm scared! They're scary!"_ **

**_He tried to reach her, but no matter how fast he ran he couldn't get to her. He tried to run faster and faster and faster, but she still remained too far._ **

**_"Onii-chan! Why aren't you here?! Why aren't you saving me?!"_ **

**_"Haruka, I'm trying-!"_ **

**_Then, in a split second, she was right in front of him. But she was now sixteen and-like Shisui-her eyes were missing._ **

**_"But, Itachi, you were too late."_ **

He woke up with a startle, and for a few seconds, found it hard to breathe.

Even after realizing that it was only a dream the words that eyeless-Haruka told him still played over in his head. And soon he remembered her curled up to him crying her eyes. Both times.

Ever since that day, so long ago, he's always known it was his fault. She had tried over and over to call for him, but he didn't listen, and he failed her. To this day he still blames himself for it all.

From her tears to her PTSD-or claustrophobia like she thinks. He even blamed himself for all those night terrors she had after words. The only thing he has to be grateful for is that she's still here and that she blocked that memory out a long time ago.

'…It is my fault.'

He rolled over to his side, and looked to his side, remember the tiny body curled up to him after waking from those nightmares.

'But she never blamed me for it…'

…He does love Haruka, she's his little sister. He loved to the absolute core.

She was always to sweetest thing, and she always gave a smile to anyone she could. She was strong and worked harder than anyone. She was always mature for her age, and naturally had a motherly charm to her. She looked for the best in anyone. And everyone loved her for it-and they still do according to Sasuke.

Haruka has always been the sister he loved and cherished. No matter how much she's changed, he still loves her like any brother should. He really did.

Even now, sixteen years old, every time he looked at her he could still only see that little girl that he adored. She's his little sister, and he has to protect her-even if he didn't do it right back then…

He'll always be there as he brother. He'll always love her more than anything. And she'll keep getting older-but still be his baby sister-and she'll succeed in life. She'll go to great schools, have a great job, and soon have kids of her own. Her kids will be beautiful, and he knows she'll raise them perfectly.

And he'll be with her. He'll make sure to always be there for her. Because he loves her-so much.

He's her brother after all.


	5. Tired

_"You've pretty lost in thought lately. What's up?"_

_"I'm not sure."_

_"Alright. What is it?"_

_"...Someone I know is suddenly acting very… different. Distant in a way."_

_"Who is it?"_

_"I'm not allowed to say."_

_"...Ok. How come?"_

_"I'm not allowed to say that either."_

_"Not only are you worrying me more, but you're also not helping me helping you."_

_"It's nothing criminal. Someone just told me I have to be delicate with what the other person is going through."_

_"Ok I have no idea what you're talking about. But, I'll just go along. Just tell me what's going on."_

_"...It's someone I've known for awhile, and they were always been… nice and cheerful. Bt lately they're shutting me out a lot, which isn't the weird part. What bothers me is just how much they seem to suddenly dislike me. They can't look me in the eye, they're always avoiding me, and when they do talk to me their way of talking is suddenly more vicious and flustered. I'm just wondering if I've done something wrong."_

_"Hm... Hey, does this person happen to go red a lot, and react only to you specifically? "_

_"... Actually, yes."_

_"Well then it's obvious. This person your talking about might just have a crush on you."_

_"Crush?"_

_"Yeah. It's weird. There're some people that just suddenly get all hostile when they have a crush on someone. It's supposed to be because they either don't know how to properly express themselves or that they're trying to protect themselves from being hurt. I don't really get it, but it happens."_

_"...Are you sure it's a crush."_

_"Sounds like it. They find it hard to be around you or look directly at you. They're suddenly rude but still flustered and blushing. And if it's only usually with you than I can only assume. But I can be wrong, I mean you can't exactly tell me the details… Hahh talking about your problems bums me out sometimes."_

_"...Then, if it really is a crush, what exactly am I supposed to do?"_

_"Do you want to go out with them?"_

_"No."_

_"Well then I think you should just let them be for a while. Bringing it up can only make them more flustered and frustrated. It's better to let them deal with their own feelings first, and you can get involved when they want you to be."_

_"For how long?"_

_"If they never want to get you involved, then until they get over you. Trust me, if it's just a little crush then it'll go away eventually. Just give them time."_

That was a conversation a long time ago that Itachi had with Shisui. It was more or less a week after Haruka had begun to act rude-his Oka-san said she must have just been going through a sudden phase and not to pry too much. If Itachi thought about it, this started to happen when she was eight and he was thirteen. It was so long ago that at this point he can't remember what they were doing, where they were, or even what they talked about afterward, all that Itachi could remember at this point was the conversation.

He was never really good at reading people or understanding their emotions and feelings, and he was especially worse at understanding romantic feelings. So, he had to hear from his closest friend that his little sister had grown romantic feelings for him, surprising him just a little bit.

At the time he could only wonder if Shisui was right, afterall incestuous feelings wasn't exactly a _normal_ thing. However, after taking Shisui's words and watching more carefully how Haruka acted toward him, Itachi began to believe his friend's conclusion. Of course, for her own sake, he never told anyone, not even Shisui, about her little crush. He just decided that, as suggested, to wait for either Haruka to explain herself to him-to which he'd be completely understanding if she just did-or wait until she finally got over it. And, to his lack of understanding what she could possibly be feeling, he didn't understand how long that would be.

He knows she's frustrated and confused, and he wants to just tell her he's fine with it. He knows she'll get over it with some time, she'll finally calm down, and they can go back to being brother and sister like they used to when they were younger.

However, Haruka has made the extensive effort of keeping a distant and not so much as looking him in the eye. He wants to talk with her, he wants to get close to her, he wants to actually eat dinner with her. He missed Haruka.

Itachi has never been good at understanding another's emotions, so he finds it very hard to understand Haruka. All he can understand is that she doesn't want to see him more now than before. She always used to leave the house early, but now she leaves before anyone else is awake. She comes back home in a rush and won't come out of her room. Haruka had always been distant, but she's been trying more and more for a week now, because of him comforting her after her attack.

He doesn't regret, with a fiber of his being, that he comforted her. He would do it a million times over and over again. But, he does regret that there's nothing he can do for her. He can't understand how to help her if she doesn't ask him for help to begin with, and he doesn't know if he even should help.

Itachi just wants her to get over her feelings, because once she does, he can have his little sister again.

So, sitting alone at their table, with a cup of Haruka's favorite coffee still sitting at the counter half empty, too early for anyone else to be awake, but too late for her to be home anymore, Itachi could only feel a stabbing pain of guilt for not understanding.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haruka woke up with a jolt, and sweat forming at her temple. With her eyes wide, she tried to gulp up some air to calm her nerves. She stared down at the wooden table that she had been resting on, and after a moment to process what had happened, she let out an exhausted sigh.

'Another nightmare.' Haruka thought, tired out of her mind. It was the same dream over and over and over ever since her attack, and every time she woke up sweaty, scared, and unable to properly breathe. And of course, against her own will, every time she woke up she had a deep pit of a need to be held by-

"Good morning."

Haruka flinched at the sudden voice, and quickly looked to her side to see that she wasn't alone in the library.

She blinked up and saw that a seat away from her was an extremely pale guy with an obviously fake smile. "Um…" She had a slow race of thoughts as to what in the world was happening-since she'd grown so used to waking up alone in the library-not even the librarian was here yet this early in the morning. "Hi."

He just continued to smile at her in a way that made Haruka very uncomfortable. "Did you have a bad sleep?"

Another few blinks from Haruka before she answered halfheartedly. "Y-Yeah, nightmare."

"I read somewhere that if you drink warm milk before sleeping you'll have less of a chance to have a nightmare."

"I-I'll keep that in mind…" '...What now?' "Um… My name is Haruka. Haruka Uchiha. But everyone calls me Haru."

"Ah. So you already come with a nickname."

Slightly confused to the way he phrased it, Haruka just gave a small smile and nodded.

"My name is Sai."

With that, Haruka remembered who he was. "Oh! Aren't you the new transfer student?" Haruka remembered due to Naruto's immediate rant that he didn't like him-apparently they have gym together.

He nodded quickly, and she noticed his smile a little less forced. "Yes that's right. I moved two days ago."

Feeling her guard go down, Haruka turned to face him. "Really? Where did you move from?"

"I can't say."

… She just decided to ignore that and continue. " are you reading?"She noticed a book resting under his crossed arms.

Once she asked that he suddenly had something that looked like nervousness and embarrassment. "That is also a secret."

Something about his sudden change in calm demeanor made Haruka suddenly want to laugh, but-of course-held it in. "What _can_ you tell me?" She said interested.

He seemed to think about it for a while, and then just smiled oh so fakely again. "My name is Sai and… um…" Slowly his smile began to waver a little more as he began to look nervous.

Haruka blinked at him curiously. "Are you alright?"

His lips pressed together slightly, and Haruka really did begin to worry about what was going through his head-she even noticed his hand twitch toward the hidden book. "Um…. Isn't it nice weather?" His composure seemed to have come back, but Haruka was let very confused.

"...I actually think it's getting too cold."

"Oh, I see… Does Haru-chan not like cold?"

"No not really."

"Then… you prefer… warm?"

"A lot more, yeah."

"I see…"

Once again there was a silence that seemed to get to Sai, and Haruka watched as his composure once again slipped away. She didn't quite get what was going through his head, but she could feel the stiffness in the air well enough to feel a little uncomfortable herself.

"...Um, Sai-"

**_SLAM!_ **

Haruka's eyes snapped at the unfamiliar sound of the door slamming open in a library, and she quickly looked over her shoulder to see two girls-one very tired looking and one very excited.

"See Sakura, I told you he was here- Haru?"

Haruka looked at Ino-who gave her a confused look. "What are you two doing here?"

Ino quickly smiled again as she noticed Sai. "Well me and Sakura thought we'd get here since it's hard to find the new guy in the morning."

The wheels began to turn in Haruka's head, and she realized what was happening here. Looking from Ino-her eyes glued to a smiling Sai-and Sakura-her eyes looking slightly tired and dazed-Haruka can tell that Ino has gained another interest to another boy on their school. Realizing this, she could only faintly smile. "Sai this is Sakura Haruna, and-"

"I'm Ino Yamanaka, but you can just call me Ino." Ino chirped as she made quick strides over to the two of them-dragging a protesting Sakura with her.

"Ino, I want to go back to bed. Class doesn't start for an hour and a half!"

"Sakura just hush!" Ino quickly looked frustrated to flirtily happy in a split second as she looked back to Sai-Haruka was beginning to feel forgotten. "I'm sorry for my friend she isn't very nice in the morning."

"And whose fault is that?" Sakura muttered.

"But it's so nice to meet you~. I've been wanting to talk to you, but we don't have any of the same classes and you sometimes seem to just disappear out of thin air."

"Do I?" Sai said with a still fake smile.

Haruka just watched half interested as Ino began her probing, and Sai seemed to just answer-seemingly not understanding her advances.

"Hey, Haru?" Haruka turned her attention back to Sakura-who seemed to just realize she was there. "Is… um…" Sakura's face began to redden, and she seemed unsure of how to properly speak.

Sakura was kind of like Ino in the sense that 70% of the time when they talked to Haruka they usually wanted to know where her little twin brother was. However, Haruka still prefered Sakura's attempts to be subtle and not be a nuisance than Ino's… well… Inoness.

Haruka just smiled up at her. "No sorry, Sasuke isn't here. I left a lot earlier than he did this morning."

Sakura's face fell and she looked slightly to the floor disappointed. "That so."

"Oh yeah, how come you and Sasuke aren't together?" Ino chirped up-finally snapping out of flirt mode. "You two are usually pretty inseparable."

'Is that how other's see it?' But before Haruka could answer Ino's eyes slightly widened as a guess seemed to form in her head.

"Don't tell me you left earlier to meet Sai too!" Haruka blinked at the accusation, but, again, before she could speak Ino just went on-looking slightly playful. "Were you also trying to win him over?"

Haruka tried to speak, but she was again cut off, but this time not by Ino. "What do you mean by win me over?" Sai asked actually looking interested. By 'actually' that meant he looked less forced.

Ino smiled up at him happily and waved a hand playfully. "You know, try to make you fall for her and date her. The usual~."

'For you.' Haruka thought slightly irritated.

Sai just smiled down at Ino-making her blush slightly. "Oh, well Haru-chan isn't really my type."

This seemed to take both Ino and Sakura off guard-though Haruka didn't know why.

"Really?!" Ino said with disbelief in her voice. "Then what is your type?"

Sai seemed to actually think about it for a while, but just gave his fake smile. "I don't know, but perhaps someone pretty."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

_Cold_. "Haru…" _Dark. Alone._ "Haru…" _Screaming. Why is there screaming?_ "HARU!"

Haruka snapped awake at the sound of a very annoyed voice, and blinked up through dazed eyes to see it was Sasuke that stood over her. She blinked up at his expression of annoyance, impatience, and-somewhere in there-worry. She let out a sigh and looked down to see her desk with her paper slightly crumbled from her resting on it. "I fell asleep again?"

"By the end of class." Sasuke took the seat next to her-even though he sat behind her-and rested his cheek in his hand as he looked at her. "You're lucky Kakashi Sensei was too distracted today to notice someone sleeping in the first row."

"Yeah, lucky I guess." She muttered tiredly while letting out an exhausted yawn.

"How much sleep have you been getting?"

Haruka just looked at Sasuke and flashed him a small smile-even though she felt horribly drained. "Enough."

Sasuke didn't seem to buy it-not that she expected him to-but he also seemed to drop it. "When are you going to start sleeping in your own damn room?"

'When I stop expecting _him_ to show up in my room every time I wake up from a nightmare.' "I can't just enjoy having sleepovers with my brother?"

...Sasuke looked annoyed, but Haruka knew that he was just worried. She didn't really blame him. For the past three days-since... _that_ happened-she keeps waking up from a nightmare every night, and she ends up wandering into his room and laying on his floor wide awake over that empty feeling in her chest, and by the eeriness of her recurring nightmare. In total she's been getting around an hour of sleep every night and not counting all the naps and knock outs she's been having-to which the nightmare still occurs. All in all, Haruka has never felt so tired.

Finally, Sasuke just sighed. "You sleep talk too much."

Haruka's eyes slightly widened. "I don't sleep talk."

"You've been doing it since we were kids."

"That's never happened before."

"I heard you have an argument with Goku that he was eating all the dangos."

"That didn't happen!" Even though Haruka faintly remembered having that dream in the second grade.

"Little too loud Haru."

Haruka looked over and saw it was Shikamaru that spoke-quite lazily as always. He currently lounged on the seat to the other side of Haruka-despite having a seat in the far back.

Haruka raised a brow at him. "You're awake during brake."

Shikamaru just shrugged. "It's pretty hard to nap with Ino waking me up just to ask me about my views on beauty."

"At least she was quiet for once during class." Sasuke commented-with the usual slightly harsh tone.

"I don't know. It's cool since she's not being a drag, but then it's also kind of unsettling."

Haruka actually looked around the classroom, but found Ino wasn't there. "I wonder if it's because of what happened this morning." She muttered quietly.

"Well what happened?" Shikamaru asked-though Haruka wondered if he would stay awake for the answer.

But, either way, she just went on to say what happened in the library.

Of course what Sai said had said bugged Haruka a little-she was human after all-but it seemed like Ino took it harder than she did somehow. Haruka didn't quite get why but after Sai said that it seemed to have made Ino feel a little… defeated somehow.

Once she finished, however, Shikamaru did look a little surprised-nowhere near as surprised as Ino and Sakura, but surprised. Haruka was taken off guard to see Sasuke had a similar expression.

"Am I missing something?" This was the second time this day she felt lost to why she was the only one not as impacted by what had happened.

Shikamaru sighed. "Well that kind of explains it."

"Pretty much." Sasuke imputed.

Haruka was feeling a little bothered by being left out. "What does?"

"I don't understand much about girls, but isn't this something like 'if he doesn't think _she's_ pretty then what does he think about _me_?'" Shikamaru seemed pretty half asleep as he explained.

After understanding what Shikamaru said Haruka felt suddenly tired. Of course she'd been told quite a few times how 'attractive' everyone seemed to think she was, but she always thought of herself as a fine average. "Ino's perfectly pretty. I swear you guys overreact about me."

To this both Sasuke and Shikamaru gave her absolutely blank looks.

"This is why you have trouble making female friends." Sasuke said.

"If you say that to Ino you'll get a real mouthful." Shikamaru said.

And Haruka was left even more bothered.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Walking home from school Sasuke couldn't keep his eyes off of Haru-his idiot of an older sister. She looked like absolute crap. Her hair was pretty messy, she was even paler than usual, and she had large, dark roles under her eyes-eyes that she can barely keep open.

He has no idea why Haru has been having such trouble sleeping lately. At first he just assumed it was because of what had happened with Itachi, but it's been a week, too long for it to still be bugging her _this_ much. For God's sake he was worried she was sleep walking right now!

"Haru!"

She blinked, looking dazed as all hell. She looked up at about his chest with her eyes rapidly trying to blink away tired. "Mmmm?"

"Did you even hear what I just said?"

"Mmmm. Ya. Everything."

"Haru I didn't say anything." 'Just how tired is she?' Sasuke thought with a pit of worry.

Haru seemed to think about it for a-long-second, and shook her head and rest her forehead into her palm. "Sorry. I'm just really out of it."

'I can tell.' "Get some damn sleep then."

She was quiet for a second and then let out a quiet, dry laugh. "Yeah I should shouldn't I?"

...Sasuke sighed and decided to try talking to her when they got home-even though he knew she'd try to brush him off.

They both came to a stop at the edge of the sidewalk as the cars began to race by.

_...VVVVIIIPPPP_

Sasuke felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and made a grab for it. He felt his heart jump into his stomach as he saw the caller ID say 'Hinata.' He unlocked his phone and read her message.

_Haru-chan has been acting very weird lately. Are you sure she's alright?_

He sighed, as he could practically hear her soft voice ringing in his head.

Taking a look over at Haru he saw her looking tired to the point that her eyes were shutting.

Then, he noticed, as the cars raced by quickly, that she had begun to lean tiredly, dangerously forward. Sasuke felt his skin go cold, his heart stop, and his throat tear out her name as he saw she wasn't stopping.

She was really tired.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Itachi." He looked up from his book-that he was absentmindedly staring at-and saw his mother entering the living room with a smile. "What are you reading?"

He looked down at the book and realized he didn't remember, so he just smiled over at his mother. "Nothing much."

...There was a short pause, to which he was confused to why she was just staring at him. Then, she sighed softly and walked over to take a seat with him. She still smiled at him, but it looked more sad and worried-in that sort of way mothers tend to smile.

"Is it about Haru?" She asked softly.

...He thought for a moment. He thought about how he couldn't get her out of his head. He thought about how he's done nothing but worried about her. He thought about how he didn't know what to do about her. He thought about how much he'd been thinking about her, and wondering what she was thinking about.

But, he-unable to look his mother in the eyes-just closed his book and got up to put it back on the shelf. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Itachi walked over to the bookcase, and he didn't look as he heard his mother follow him across the room, he just put away the forgotten book-that he noticed was a collection of fairy tales.

He felt his mother lightly hold his arm, and he finally looked down to her as she gave him a gentle look of a mother. "I know that Haru's been very different with you than she used to. I know she's been avoiding you and being distant with you for a long time. I'm as clueless on why she's been acting like this as much as you."

'No you're not.' Itachi thought silently.

"And, I know it's difficult for you to handle it… She used to be attached to you 24/7." His mother let out a small laugh at the memory, and he couldn't help but slightly smile as well. "She used to be so open with you. She never wanted to be away from you, and she would tell you everything. Sometimes your father was even a little jealous at how much attention she gave you." _That_ surprised him a little, considering how little he seemed to care. "But now she's… well, not like how she used to be. And it's hard for you because you want her back, but you don't know how to, right?"

As usual, his mother was frighteningly right. "What am I supposed to do to make someone happy, when they neither want to talk to me or be near me?" When he said it, he realized just how desperate he was for an answer.

"...Haru has always been hard to comfort. She locks herself away when she's sad or hurt, and she'll try to make sure everyone around her think she's fine. It's difficult to help a person that won't ask for it. So, you have to try picking your moments. Sometimes, you listen to when they want to be alone, and sometimes you just have to break yourself through their walls yourself."

"How do I know when to do which?"

"You just have to think what will happen if you don't help, and try to decide from there."

…Itachi let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, and he looked back to the book he'd put away and he remembered it was one of Haruka's favorites when she was little. He remembered her sitting on his lap as he read to her. He remembered the way her eyes lit up at the stories, and he remembered how much she smiled at him. He really missed that smile, and he really wishes he could see it again…

**_RIIIIIIING RIIIIIIING_ **

They both jumped at the sound of the house phone ringing, and his mother walked over to the phone to pick it up. "Hello- Sasuke?"

Itachi's attention was snapped back, and he walked over to his mother who suddenly looked worried.

"What is-? Sasuke? Sasuke, calm down. What happened to Haru?"

To that Itachi couldn't stop himself from snatching the phone out of his mother's hand. _"No you're not fine!"_

"Sasuke, what happened to Haruka?"

_"Nii-san?"_

"What happened to Haruka?"

_"She almost collapsed into ongoing traffic, and now I need someone to come pick us up-!"_

_"Sasuke hang up!"_

Itachi felt his heart leap at the sound of Haruka's voice in the background-at least she was fine enough to talk. "Sasuke where are you I'll pick you both up-"

_"No!"_

_"Sasuke I'm not going in the same car as-!"_

_"Just shut up for a second!"_

"Sasuke, where are-"

_"Nii-san, can you send Oka-san to pick us up?"_

Itachi was about to deny that request and force Sasuke to tell them where they were, but…

He sighed frustratedly, and handed the phone back to his mother-who was looking scarcely anxious. "Itachi wasn't wrong?"

"Sasuke needs you to pick them up. I'll go call Oto-san on the other line."

With that, his mother went to talk to Sasuke some more, and Itachi went off to do as he said.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"You nearly got yourself killed, and you want to treat it as though nothing happened?" Their father said-not yelling, but not exactly _speaking_.

"That isn't what I said." Haruka said meekly, and slightly shaken.

"But that's what you're thinking, isn't it?"

To that Haruka could only dart her eyes to her floor, back at their father and then to her folded hands.

"Haru, what's wrong?" Their mother piped in gently-putting a hand on their father to trying calming him down. "What happened today? We're all just worried."

Haruka seemed to find it very hard to look at her mother, and her mouth slightly moved as though she were trying to say something, but didn't know how to say it.

"She hasn't been sleeping." Sasuke sharply commented-worried to the point that he was angry.

As Itachi felt a stab of guilt thinking it was something on his part, their mother took a quick looked over at Sasuke and then back to Haruka. "Haru, why haven't you been sleeping?"

To add to more of his guilt, Itachi noticed that Haruka couldn't even _look_ in his direction. "...I …I keep having a nightmare." When she said it, her voice trembled, and her grip on her sheets tightened lightly.

Then, Itachi began to remember something unpleasant.

"What dreams have you been having Haru?" Their mother spoke as softly as possible.

Haruka looked up to their mother, and then back to her hands. "I...I don't…"

"Haru," Sasuke leaned in, suddenly looking confused and intense. "What are you dreaming about?"

Haruka blinked up at him, and, once again, her eyes fell to her shaking hand.

"I-I don't really know… I… I'm in some kind of box, and… I think there're guys outside, and… I-I don't really…"

Suddenly, Itachi realized just what was going on. He could tell his parents knew as they gave each other quick glances. 'She's remembering? Or maybe she's just having dreams about it. Did that attack trigger it?' His mind began racing, and he thought about that horrible day. When he found her in there, and when she clung to him so tightly he could barely breathe…

"Sasuke, go to your room." Their father ordered, and Sasuke only took one painful look at Haruka-who couldn't look up from her bed-and just left the room.

Their mother gently placed a hand on top of Haruka's head. "Try to get some sleep tonight, you can take the day off tomorrow, and if you keep having the dream then…" Their mother glanced up to their father as he looked slightly strained.

"Then we figure something out. Come on let's go." He took his wife by the hand, and began to walk them both out. He gave Itachi a quick look. "You too."

But, right before they left, Itachi noticed his mother give him a desperate look.

When they were both gone he looked over to Haruka, and he noticed just how cornered up she looked. Her eyes were glued to the bed, her lips tightly pressed together, and her cheeks were tinted red. She was aware that they were the only two in the room, but she seemed against telling him to leave.

He just stared at her expression, tired, exhausted, embarrassed, and somehow, a little scared…

He left her room, and closed the door, but for a long time he could only stand there in the hallway. Thinking about what to do, and thinking about what was happening to her.

What happened was something he never wants to remember, and it's something that she long since forgotten-he's glad that she did. But the attack she had in that shed triggered back the nightmares she used to have-though not the night terrors. She used to have constant nightmares after the incident, but they stopped once she repressed her memories.

Then, he thought about how every time she woke up from those nightmares she'd always go to his room-or he'd go to hers after she woke up screaming. Every night he'd be there to hold her and calm her down. She even told him that she couldn't sleep unless he was there… But that was back when she _wanted_ him around, and when she followed him around everywhere he went. Now, she doesn't even want to be in the same car as him…

But… She's too tired, and she'll only grow more tired…

Realizing he hadn't taken a shower all day he slowly made his way to the upstairs second bathroom.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haruka let out a breath of air once she heard his step finally walk away from her. At the echoing sound of his footsteps she just let herself fall into her pillows-feeling exhausted beyond help… Him just standing there, with his eyes digging into her, was painful in its own right. It made her breath get caught in her throat and her face flare in shame. Yet, she couldn't tell him to leave all because somewhere deep, deep, deep down she…

She sighed and threw the blanket over her head, and tried to erase those piercing black eyes away. She didn't want to think about _him_ , about her tiredness, or even about the damn dream. She didn't want to linger too long on how she suddenly felt her body shut down on itself, and then the next second she was suddenly pushed back onto the cement with Sasuke pale as a ghost hovering over her.

She just wanted to sleep. She wanted to sleep away all her problems, and she wanted to finally rest this body of hers that could barely move. Even though she knew, once she was asleep all that would happen is that she'd wake up all over again, tired, sweaty, and terrified to those echoing voices.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haruka's eyes snapped open, but it wasn't because of another nightmare. It wasn't because of the sound of a loud bang onto her tight box.

She didn't even get a chance to get into stage one of sleep until she heard her bedroom door open. Weakly and slowly, she got up and looked through eyes glazed with tired, and she saw that absolute last person she wanted to see.

Her eyes snapped open in an instant, and she practically jumped onto her knees-slightly wobbling at the movement. She glared up as harshly as her tired eyes could be, but she couldn't hide the ache in her heart or the heat of her cheeks. "What are you doing here?!" She cried out weakly as she felt her body shake, and began to worry that she'd now started hallucinating.

For a moment he was quiet, but she could still feel the drilling of his eyes as they looked directly at her face-with what expression she couldn't tell in the dark-and she found it excruciatingly hard to look at him head on.

Then, she heard the low sound of him sighing. "Haruka, are you really ok?" With that he began to reach out his hand.

Her mind froze on itself, and all she could bring herself to do was flinch away from the hand, and continue half heartedly glaring at her bed. "D-Don't touch-"

"How much sleep have you actually been getting?"

'Why can't you just leave?' She thought desperately as she became more and more aware to how the door was closed, he was standing so close to her, and he was only wearing sweatpants and a muscle shirt with water dripping from his hair. More importantly, she became more and more conscious to the yearning in her chest to feel what she had felt after she was freed from that shed and put into his arms.

"Th-That's none of your buisn-"

"I'm your brother," And with that he stung her. He stung her more painfully than he could ever realize he did. And she was now hurt at not only his presence, not only her feelings, but at the fact that his hand was once again moving toward her. "Of course it's my business."

His hand was only an inch from her face. It was already radiating off the warmth she was craving. Her breath hitched, and her eyes widened. She felt her lips tremble, her hands tremble, just about everything trembled. But, like he just said, he's her brother.

" _Don't touch-!_ " Her loud shriek-that hurt her throat-was cut off short as she suddenly realized a blanket was thrown around her. She could only blink at the way it flowed around her in a split second before falling softly on her shoulders. Tired and confused, she didn't have time to react to the sudden arms around her.

She couldn't breath and she couldn't stop her eyes from trying to escape her skull. She could only remain paralyzed at the wonderfully warm sensation that took over her body in an instant. It was comfortable, it was safe, and it was what she had been begging herself to not crave.

"...I know you really don't even want to look at me, and that you're really against me even being here." She tried as hard as she could to not shiver at the feeling of his breath on her ear, and she tried as hard as she could to not listen to him, and just push him away. "But I don't want you to have another nightmare and suffer. I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving you alone. You can give me the cold shoulder as much as you want when morning comes, but for tonight, no matter how much you protest, I'm not letting you go."

...But she couldn't protest. She didn't want him to be so much in control of her, she didn't want his voice to make her shiver, she didn't want his words bring her to tears, she didn't want his warm make her want to submit, but it was all against her will.

Him here, with her alone, this was something she's been silently begging for every time she had to wake up freezing in her own cold sweat, with her heart thumping louder and louder in her chest out of fear, and with her lungs crying out for the air they thought they had lost. She knew that this, _him_ , was the only thing that could ever possible calm her down. She knew with a heavy heart that she could never feel this save and warm in a thousand lives if it weren't for him.

She knew that this was something she could never deserve, not with the sins her feelings bear.

But she really is tired. She hasn't had a proper sleep in what's felt like years. Her body was collapsing on itself, and her brain was eating away at itself. She was painfully weak. Too weak to fight it, the heaviness of her lids, the limpness of her limbs, and her entire being that leaned into his.

He slowly-to make sure she wouldn't protest-began to lay them both down-her face buried into his heaving chest, and his arms tightly around her-only being separated by a thick blanket.

Somewhere there was reason, somewhere there was a voice screaming at her that she was being stupid, that she was being ridiculous, that it will only hurt a thousand times more if she gave in here. But she could barely hear it over the pounding of her heart in her ear. She could hardly feel it with the heat his light caress in her hair gave her. She couldn't think left from right with his scent of sun burning into her nose. She was also far too tired. Her body had no strength to resist, and she had no will to do anything other than tighten her grip on his chest and weakly, quiety whisper. "You're too cruel…"

Then, she finally, _finally_ , had a peaceful night sleep, in the arms of the only person she could ever love so much.


	6. Pray

The dream didn't matter, in fact she could hardly remember it. It was just another soft, faint dream that she had more times she could count-certainly not recently. Whatever the dream was didn't matter, what mattered, what stuck, was the warm feeling around her. It was a familiar feeling from a long time ago, and it was almost painful to feel it again after silently aching for it since she lost it.

'Warm.' It's not a close enough word to describe it. It was safe, it was comforting, it was pure, it was burning, it was everything she could ever want or need. And it was all because of who it was. It was everything because it was _him_.

It was the thought that it was _his_ touch that made it burn all over. It was the thought that it was _his_ voice that made her feel safer than in any other place. It was the thought that it was _his_ arms that made her fall into them with ease. It was the thought that it was _his_ hands in her hair that made her want to hold onto him back. It was the thought that it was _him_ that made her never want to leave.

She knew what she wants, all she's _ever_ wanted, and it's right here, in this perfect moment of sleep. And it made her never want to wake up.

However, life has never been kind enough.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haruka's eyes fluttered open with a heaviness that made her want to close them back up again. The sun creeped into her room, and she wanted to shut it out as it stung her tired eyes. Her lips pressed together tightly as she threw the covers over her head… After awhile it became too hard to breathe under the covers, so she shoved it off, and forced her eyes to adjust to the light.

She drew in a small breath and let out a sigh. She propped herself up to sit up straight, and she held her spinning heading in her hand.

…Haruka let her thoughts drift in and out as she leaned back into the bed frame. She remembered that she hadn't slept in a while, and… and...

In almost an instant she shot up-away from the bed frame-and stared wide eyed at the wall without actually seeing it. Her face darkened into a deep shade of red out of embarrassment and shame, and her hands quickly grasped on the sheets from the impact of the memory.

She quickly looked down at her hands-as they slightly trembled-and she began recalling the night before more clearly. The warmth, the safety, the touch, and the way it made her dizzy and drunk. But the thing she remembered most, was simply the fact that she let it all happen. That's what stung most, that she let it happen. The tiredness made her weak and desperate, and the dreams made her feel unsafe and violated, but how could she just let what she's been working to stop for so many years just _happen_?

Her knees rose up to her face, and she buried her face as she wrapped her arms around her knees. She tried to think, tried to understand what had happened. She didn't want to think about how it made her feel, but she tried to understand why it happened. Why he had the need to just walk in and do as he pleased.

The more she tried to understand the more her mind fuzzed with confusion.

_"I'm your brother, of course it's my business."_

'That's what you said, so why did you…?' Haruka felt her hand slightly curl into her hair as she felt a heachache form… 'Why couldn't you just leave me be?' She thought this, but she couldn't stop the growing appreciation in her chest as she became more and more aware that if it weren't for him she would have lost another night of sleep and be sweating from her fear inducing nightmares…

_BZZZZZZ_

Haruka jumped at the sound of her phone vibrating. She let her knees fall back down, and she looked over to her bedside dresser. Wondering what it was, she picked up her phone, and unlocked it. She saw it was the middle of the afternoon, and that she had fifteen messages.

She had get well texts from Neji, Shikamaru and Kida. A "How are you?" from Sasuke and Hinata. And the other ten were from Naruto and Lee... Haruka gave a weak smile at the worried messages, and quickly replied with "Thanks", "Fine, I actually slept", and "You're worrying too much."

She closed her phone, and threw her legs over the edge of her bed. Then, she realized she hadn't showered yesterday-since she was quickly brought back and forced to sleep. So, she grabbed a pair of jeans, a purple long sleeve-it was getting colder-and her lingerie.

As she opened her door, she hesitantly looked down the halls, and-when she saw it was clear-she quickly went over to the bathroom. Once she was there she just quickly threw off her clothes and turn on the water. She wasn't relaxed until she was under the warm running water, and she took a deep breath.

She ran her fingers through her wet hair, and she let her thoughts get fogged by the steam.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Sasuke-kun?"

Said person flinched at the sound of his name, and closed the phone he'd been staring at as he turned to face his worried childhood friend. "Yeah?"

"Please don't stress yourself too much, I'm sure Haru-chan will be ok." Hinata said that, but Sasuke knew she was just as worried as he was. But, she was also worried about him, and that thought made his heart thump in a very painful way.

He decided to just stuff his phone into his pocket. She'll respond when she responds. "If that idiot doesn't start getting better I'll knock her out myself." He did worry about her sure, but he was still mad at her for not telling him about the nightmares she's been having. They've always told each other these sorts of things, so the fact that she kept this just bugged him. Afterall, not knowing there's a problem makes it impossible to actually _help_.

Hinata just gave him one of her small smiles. After knowing him for as long as she has, it seems as though she grew used to his occasionally rude comments. "I hope she gets better to." She said quietly. She also could always say what he wished he could say.

Sasuke just sighed and looked down at his worksheet. He'd used the excuse that he had work to do, and that's why they had to go to the classroom for lunch. He just couldn't stand to be alone with her up on their usual spot on the roof. At least in the classroom there were usually a couple of people chatting away.

Hinata ate her food calmly, and Sasuke just went to work-taking his time. When it was just the two of them there wasn't usually as much talking as when Haru was there, but there was never any problem with the silence. Hinata said the silence just helps her relax, and it didn't make Sasuke pressured to say anything. It was just peaceful… Or at least it would be if he wasn't so aware to how close she was to him.

The desk Hinata was sitting in was turned around to face his, and he could faintly feel her feet touch his whenever she readjusted herself. When he glanced up he could see her long hair fallen perfectly at her shoulders, and her lovely pale eyes that he would usually find looking through her phone-most likely reading the books she downloaded. What would really make his chest tighten on itself was whenever he was her soft pale lips open to take in some of her bento meal. He didn't even want to think about when his eyes would land just below her face-they weren't kids anymore…

"OI SASUKE!" Once again Sasuke found himself flinching at the sound of his name, and-to his annoyance-he saw Naruto was the one that slammed open the door and catch the attention of everyone in the room. Without giving anyone the chance to react to the sudden appearance to the school famous knuckle head, the blonde immediately raced over to Sasuke-loudly banging on the table that Sasuke's work rested. "IS IT TRUE HARU-CHAN GOT HIT BY A CAR?!"

As Sasuke stared at Naruto, he could only think, 'Idiot.' "Haru didn't get hit by a car." He decided next time something happens, he'll tell the blonde ahead of time to avoid him listening to any outlandish gossips.

Sasuke's words, however, did not seem to get to him. "EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING THAT SHE WAS GETTING DEPRESSED OVER A TERRIBLE BREAK UP, AND DECIDED TO JUMP INTO MOVING TRAFFIC! IS IT TRUE THEY FOUND A KIDNEY THAT'S A MATCH!"

At this point, Sasuke had given up on school population if _this_ is really what they did on their free time.

Getting ready to snap at the idiot for listening and believing what others were saying, he was cut off.

"N-Naruto-kun." Sasuke felt his heart plummet, and he watched as Naruto finally calmed down at the sound of the quiet voice. "H-Haru-chan didn't get hit, she's just been having trouble sleeping. She almost got hit, but she's fine."

Sasuke was baffled at how Hinata actually spoke to him that smoothly. There wasn't nearly as much stuttering as before, and she was actually keeping eye contact-more or less.

At that Naruto now turned his full attention to the black haired girl. "Are you sure?!"

Hinata gave him a small nod. "Y-Yes. I saw her this morning sleeping in bed. She's fine."

...When she had told Sasuke before, he could tell she was unsure about it, but, talking to Naruto now, she looked like she really believed it.

For once in his stupid life, Naruto was actually quiet, and looked to be thinking over what Hinata said. Finally, he looked back at her still a little unsure. "What about the break up thing? Did that really happen?"

"N-No! Haru-chan hasn't dated anyone since Neji-nii."

"You're sure?"

"Y-Yes."

Once again, Naruto seemed to be really thinking about it until he had that stupid wide grin on his face. "Well that's a relief! I really thought something bad happen!"

Hinata slightly shook her head. "She'll be fine."

"Thanks Hinata, I was really losing my head there."

At that Hinata began blushing, and she looked down to her bento with a smile… "N-No problem."

"Wait, is that your lunch Hinata?"

Hinata looked up at him slightly taken back. "Y-Yes."

"Wow, did you make it yourself?!"

She smiled shyly, but proudly at the mention. "Y-Yes. W-Would you like some?"

"Would I!" At that Naruto grabbed her chopsticks-making her blush even deeper-to take in a bite at her homemade meal. "Wow, this is delicious!"

"Th-Thank you."

"Hey, can I try some of that too?"

"Y-You can have the rest, I-I'm not really that h-hungry."

"Really?! You're the best Hinata-!"

They both stopped and looked at Sasuke as he loudly pulled out his seat from his desk. They both looked at him with shock and question in their eyes, but he refused to look at either of them as he stood up. He only mumbled a quiet "I'm going to the bathroom" before striding out of the classroom-feeling everyone's eyes burning into his back.

Once he was in the hall he just walked and walked. He ignored everyone, and didn't really think about where he was going. He just wanted to leave. No matter how you looked at it the two were looking lovey-dovey. Even if neither of them saw it, they were acting like a pair of newlyweds, and it made him sick. It made him want to throw up. Throw up his lunch, his stomach, his heart, he just wanted everything out of his body until he felt nothing…

He stopped where he was until he was in a completely empty hallway. There wasn't any sound other than his light panting. He fell against a wall, and just let himself lean against it. Then, he just slid down until he was sitting on the floor. Alone.

...Sasuke loved her. He really did. So much… He knew she would never love him back, so he gave up on that dream a long time ago, but he at least wished that these feelings would go away along with his hope… He just didn't want to be in love anymore. What was the point to wanting her so badly, if there was no chance at all? Was the world really that cruel?

...Then, he thought about Haru. His sister… He remembered when she told him about how she felt… When he closed his eyes he could still see her, eight years old. They were on his bed, and it was the middle of the night. She was crying. He couldn't remember for the life of him how they had started talking about their loves… But he could still hear her as she said. _"I'm sorry... I'm sorry… I love Nii-chan…"_ She said it like if she were the worst person in the world.

...He thought about it, and he remembered how at first he had thought it was disgusting. It was wrong. He thought that there was actually something wrong with her… Then, he remembered he knew what it felt like. He could never imagine how it was for her, but he could relate to how it felt to be in love with the wrong person… Once he thought about it, that's when he could only think to hug her, tell her about Hinata, and then they just both cried…

Were him and Haru both just meant to stay stuck in unrequited love? …

…

…

…

Sasuke got up to his feet, and he walked toward the window… He looked out of it, not looking at anything particularly… He thought about how he felt about Hinata. He thought about how he felt about the whole situation in general… He thought about how Haru only had it worse…

… Sasuke decided to do something he'd never done… He pressed his forehead against the cold glass, and he closed his eyes… To nothing in particular, he prayed…

…

…

…

'Don't let my sister end up with nothing.'


	7. Talk

_KNOCK_

Haruka pushed a strand of wet hair behind her ear and looked toward the bathroom door at the sound of the knock.

"Haruka." The voice she heard made her freeze in her spot. Her eyes widened and she felt her face flush. "Do you want anything from the convenience store?"

She blinked a few times at the question, and she felt like the floor had suddenly became unstable. After a moment of realizing what was happening, for reasons she didn't understand, she suddenly wrapped her arms around herself-even though she was clearly aware that he couldn't see through doors. "I- umm…." 'What the hell is wrong with my voice?' She frantically thought.

Her throat felt incapable of forming words, and her mind too fuzzy to think clearly. She couldn't understand why. Of course she knew that she was always a little off whenever _he_ was around, but she was never like this. She at least knew how to keep composure!

'What's different.' But she knew.

_KNOCK_ "Haruka, are you ok?" His voice rang around in the tiled room.

She remembered that voice from last night, and it was softly cooing words of comfort right into her ear. She remembered being wrapped in his arms-separated only by a blanket-and how it made her feel warm. She remembered how the fresh smell of soap, shampoo, and his own scent were right in the air. She remembered last night about a thousand times more clearly than she would ever prefer. That's what was different. She knew what it was like to bask in his presence until she was fast asleep-and even in sleep she could feel him.

Just the thought of everything made her flush an even darker shade of red, and she had to give herself a mental slap to try pulling herself together. She tried to think mad thoughts, and to get back the tone she would normally use on him-or _any_ voice at this point.

"Haruk-"

"No!" 'DAMN IT SAY SOMETHING ELSE!' "N-Nothing… I don't-Nothing!" She just slammed her mouth shut and wished she could just reset everything.

...There was a silence that just made her feel even more stupid than she already did. "...Ok then. Be careful, Haruka." She heard his footsteps as he walked away.

. . .

She leaned back onto the tile wall, and felt the water pour down onto her shaking form. Her trembling hands found their way up to her face, and she was irritated to find that her face was burning. She even found that her heart was racing…

For years she knew how to act. Avoid, and be rude. It was simple, and it kept _him_ away. She had been doing it for years, but now… With memories still fresh in her head, she couldn't even find her voice properly… It was worst than she thought…

If she couldn't even talk properly, then what about when she had to face him? What about the fact that she was _living_ with him? What if someone saw her acting different. All he did was hold her until she fell asleep… but everything was so clear. If she lost focus enough she could remember that warmth, that voice, that comfort, that moment, and how it not only made her feel satisfied but...hungry...at the same time...

She was disgusting…

...Haruka took a deep breath in… and out… 'Maybe it's not as bad as I'm thinking… Maybe once I get out and clear my head I'll be more functional…'

Her thoughts were not too convincing, but she needed _something_ … She's spent too long trying to repress all her feeling to let them get the better of her now.

She let her hand run through her hair, and then grab a grip on it-as she felt a loud pounding in her head…

. . . . . . . . . . . .

As she used a white, fluffy towel to dry off her hair, Haruka looked through Sasuke's closet for a futon. With everything that was happening, and her already lack of sleep, Haruka just felt like taking a nap.

She would have just gone to her room but… she figured it'd only be easier to remember last night if she were in there. Usually, she'd just grab her pillow and blanket and sleep on Sasuke's floor, but she was also worried that her sheets smelled like him…

She just sighed as she rolled out the barely used futon-only used when family comes to visit-on the floor, and put the towel to the side of the futon.

Haruka laid down and wrapped herself in the blanket. The futon might have been sitting there for a while, but it was still comfortable enough. Her eyelids fell, but not completely. She was tired, but she wasn't quite there yet to knock out…

She wondered what her friends were doing. She thought about Shikamaru being dragged around by Ino and Choji, and complaining the entire time. Naruto causing ruckus and giving either Kakashi-sensei a headache, or a visiting Iruka-sensei a migraine. Hinata who was such a soft spoken person, but more confident than when they were kids… Sasuke, who was kind of a dick...but he was still her little brother.

Haruka wondered how he was doing with his own love life, and if it was any better than hers… 'Any love life is better than mine…' She muttered in her head.

...Then, feeling tiredness come down and start mushing her mind, she thought about said love life. She'd only dated three boys in her life. Menma from middle school, and that only lasted for a month. They had to break up after he said he had to move once he went to highschool. Shikamaru, but that only lasted for a week and they decided to be friends. Then, there was Neji… They had dated for a whole three months, but she had to break it off… The more she thought about it, the more she realized all her past relationships somehow wound up back to _him_ … She dated them all to try and forget about him...and she broke up with Neji when she realized he couldn't make her forget…

After Neji, boys have asked her out, but she declined all of them. The way things were ended with Neji was messy, and she felt absolutely horrible… She couldn't love him, so she had to end it… Haruka doesn't want to drag anyone along like that again… Because no matter how much she thought about it… It _had_ to be _him_ , but it couldn't be _him_ …

He was the only one that could make her feel so warm and safe, but he's someone that she can't see like that… Only someone that was disgusting, could ever imagine living a life with her own brother…

. . . . . . . . . . . .

_It was cold. The touch of pure metal pressed closely to her form, and every time it made contact with her skin there was a sickly chill that ran up and down her spin. There was something covering her eyes, but she didn't need to see to know that she was trapped. No matter how or where she moved, there was a metal wall._

_The only warmth she could find was from her breaths being pushed back into her face, and the warm tears that continued to run down her cheeks._

_Sobs ripped from her mouth, but it seemed as though nobody could hear her. Why? Was there really no one? Had she been abandoned to rot? Why weren't they here? Or maybe she was just being ignored? Why? Couldn't they hear she was scared? Couldn't they tell she was in pain?_

_She let out another sob filled scream, but there was no reply. Why?... Why? Why? Why? Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?_

_"...Onii-chan…." She quietly called out._

_And there was finally a reply._

**_BANG!_ **

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haruka shot up straight, and she tried to catch her breath. She quickly looked around her, and found that she was fine. There was no cold metal, she was just in Sasuke's room. She pressed her hand to her temple to try and calm down the pounding in her head. And she found that she was sweating bullets.

She tried to get her thoughts together, but she found there was only a rush in her mind of nothing but fear...

Then, she heard footsteps… All that she could think about was the warmth. All she could think about was being wrapped in safety. All she could think about was that it was the only place she knew how to really breath. She slowly got up to her shaky legs, and walked to the door, and after only two steps, she found herself practically leaping toward the door. Once she felt the handle to the door in her hand she didn't miss a beat to open it wide open.

...There was a figure in front of the door, but it wasn't _him_.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

After already having a crappy day at school Sasuke just wanted to lock himself into his room and do homework. Anything to just get what happened at lunch out of his head.

However, while being right in front of his door to own room, it was quickly opened and he found the one that did it was his own sister. It did not surprise him to see her there. After all the years, she practically made it her second room. What took him off guard was to see that she was pale, sweating, and had a hopeful look in her eyes that went straight to disappointment when she saw him.

In just a second, she quickly smiled up at him, but he could still see her slightly trembling. "Oh, Sasuke. I-I didn't know school was over."

She moved to the side to let him in, and after a second of looking at her-while her eyes just stuck to the floor-he just quietly walked in and closed the door behind him. His eyes fell to the futon on the floor, and he saw how it was messy and looked as though she were tossing in her sleep.

"S-Sorry about that. I… I was just taking a little nap…."

He didn't want to look at her.

Sasuke tossed his bag to the foot of the bed, and just took a seat at the edge. He folded his hands together, and rested his knees on his lap and his chin on his hands. Looking down at the futon, and thinking about his sister right there-once again trying to hide-he just felt something in him begin the boil. But he was silent…

"...Sasuke," She spoke quietly, "are you ok?"

The fact that she asked that question only made the boiling feeling grow. He tried to push it down, but he knew he was ready to snap… " Haru, why didn't you tell me about the nightmares?"

He looked up at her just in time to see the way the question took her off guard. Her eyes slightly widened, and he saw her fingers curl around the ends of her sleeves. He tried to watch her carefully as she looked down to the floor-in what almost looked like shame. "...I didn't want to bother."

He felt his hands tighten at that reply. "Why would it have been a bother?"

"...I didn't think it was a problem." Her voice was quiet.

He tried to swallow down a lump that was beginning to form, but it didn't help the choking feeling he was beginning to feel. "You didn't think it was a problem...?"

But she still remained incapable of even _looking_ at him, but her brows did furrow into a look of guilt. "...Sasuke, can we just drop it I'm-"

"HARU!" He was even surprised at his sudden outburst, but the boiling was only getting worse and worse, and he could no longer try to calm it down. He was up on his feet glaring straight at his sister, as she stared at him wide eyed. "You almost _died_! I watched you almost _die_ , and you want to keep acting like it didn't happen?! Why didn't you just tell me before you nearly collapsed onto ongoing traffic you moron!"

For a long time it was nothing but silence. Sasuke couldn't drop his glare… because he couldn't turn away the painful feeling of being left in the dark… When they were younger, she was closer to Itachi than him, but she still wouldn't hide things from him-things that _mattered_. After they confessed their own loves, they didn't hide things. It had even gone to the point that they could understand each other with just a look. But, this time, she wouldn't _tell_ him. He couldn't read what was wrong with her. He didn't hear an answer until _after_ it had put her in danger. Even now, she's trying to hide things from him instead of just telling him, so that he won't have to watch her act like a zombie for a week! So, that he doesn't have to watch her nearly fall right into death! So that he doesn't have to watch her curled up in a building helplessly while he's left unable to do _anything_ … That last part wasn't her fault…

He was still mad… He was still furious, because she just wouldn't _talk_ to him…

Finally, Haruka answered, but she wasn't happy to. She seemed to have gotten angry herself, and she glared only half as harshly as he did. "I didn't think telling you I was having some problem sleeping was something I had to prioritize! Do you just want me to tell you everything that happened throughout the day!"

"I want you to tell me the things that are ready to kill you!"

"How was I supposed to know I was going to happen?! I thought at worst I would just be taking extra naps! I'm not psychic Sasuke!"

"What about the damn dreams?!"

"What about them?!"

"You didn't say a single word about them to me! I assumed you were just having trouble sleeping because of Nii-san! And, you _know_ I was thinking that too! But you never bothered correcting me! Why?!"

"Because I thought they would just go away eventually!"

"Go away or not, why didn't you just tell me?!"

"...Because… Because I had other things on my mind-"

"What other things? What else are you hiding?!"

"..."

"Haru, why won't you just talk-?!"

"Because I feel like I'm losing my mind!"

...To that, Sasuke finally paused. He looked at her with slightly widened eyes, but she couldn't look at him. Her eyes were narrowed down at the floor, and her brows were furrowed out of extreme discomfort. She was trembling and holding herself, as though she were trying to hold herself together. Her eyes even looked like they were watering up.

"...I'm sorry, Sasuke, ok… I wish it was like before when I could tell you about these things… but it's not… I don't know why but it's not! … I've been waking up to these _horrible_ nightmares sweating and shaking, and I have to try telling myself it's not real." Her hands curled up tightly into her hair as her she looked to the floor and her face covered by her hair. "It all feels too real, and I don't even know why… But that's not even the worst part… I can't… I can't wake up from them without wanting to be comforted… but it can't be anyone but _him_ … I don't _want_ to, but it's like my body is thinking without me, and betraying me… I feel like I can't even control myself anymore… I can't even talk right near him, how am I supposed to avoid him if I feel like I can't even function without him?!" She fell down to her knees, and her hands-still entangled in her hair-covered her face, and he could only watch as she cried.

...That's something he couldn't imagine… She wasn't just heartbroken or self loathing, she felt she was losing grasp of her own self control…

Guilt swelled until it was practically choking him, and watching her cry like that… It only brought back memories of when they were in the shed, and he couldn't do _anything_ to help her… He was just useless while she suffered.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

It took a while, but she finally was finished crying-but she now felt an uncomfortable pounding in her head… She hesitantly looked up over at Sasuke-her knees pulled up to her face and her hair fallen over her eyes. Haruka didn't notice until now, but he was now sitting on the floor-just a few feet from her-with one knee held up.

"...Are you done?" The question was a little rude, but she could tell by his tone he didn't mean it like that. She also noticed he was looking at her but not in the eyes.

"Yeah…"

...It's been a long time since they've had an awkward silence, and even longer since it was _this_ awkward.

Finally, he spoke. "I didn't mean to yell…" She thought he could even hear him say "Sorry" right under his breathe.

"...I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to snap… You just wanted answers."

She didn't know what got over her. After waking from another terrible dream, and realizing that she really can't sleep right without _him_ she was just to frustrated with Sasuke coming in and yelling at her… Granted, he does have reason to be mad, but it was probably just bad timing that made her get mad back… And… It didn't help that Sasuke-of all people-was the person she relied on to understand her and be patient with her… She didn't expect him to suddenly demand things she wasn't even sure about…

"If you really don't want to talk…" She snapped out of her thoughts to the sound of his voice. "You don't have to-"

"No… It's fine… You were right, you deserve to understand…" 'It could also help to get all this off my chest.' "... It… It started in the shed…."


	8. Hurry

...Once Haruka was done explaining everything-from the nightmares, to craving _him_ , to the night that he actually came into her room-the room was silent for a moment. She couldn't really bring herself to look up to him, and found herself mindlessly playing with the corner of the futon with her foot.

She had, of course, explained herself to Sasuke before, but the weird feeling of exposing herself so much-and waiting for the judgment over it-never quite went away. However, neither did the nice feeling of a weight being lifted from her chest.

"So that's what's been wrong with you." Sasuke quietly mumbled.

She raised her eyes to look at him, and she saw the way his mind was rolling around the information in his mind. She could also tell that whatever he was thinking about was making his brows furrow in the slightest…

Finally, Haruka decided to just say what she knew was happening. "Sasuke, what is it?" His eyes slightly twitched, and he looked at her. "I know there's something you want to tell me."

He gave her a look that said 'You're not going to like what I say.' To which, she just gave him a weak nod. She opened to him, so he can say whatever he wanted at this point.

Sasuke let out a quiet sigh… "I think… I think you need to keep letting Nii-san do what he's doing."

...She was ready to hear some sort of criticism, but _that_ wasn't what she expected. Her eyes widened at him, and she felt her heart plummet at that. She was suffering over this, she was tearing her hair out over this, and she's been trying to block it all out to keep her sanity in as intact as she could. She felt like yelling that to him. She felt like snapping at him that he doesn't understand how much she's been losing herself over this… But she couldn't… She wanted to but she couldn't…

She knew that if she argued with him he'd argue once again that she almost died over this. That if it's the only solution she should take it. That _he_ even said so that she could act however she wanted to once the night was over…

Sasuke would just argue back about how she had to do it, because it was the only known solution to the problem… and she knew it was the truth. As much as she hated it she knew that there was nothing else that could help her but feeling the safety of his presence. She knew that it was exactly what her body craved and needed… No matter how much she wanted to deny it, _he_ had this control over her…

Haruka didn't want it, but she knew what her own body was telling her. That it was no longer in her control. It's in _his_.

Her gaze lowered down to the floor, and she felt her hand find it's way to the top of her head… "I hate this…" She muttered quietly…

The only comfort at all that she could get from this was that she at least knew that Sasuke was there to help her if she were to lose her mind completely…

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"She did sleep last night." Itachi spoke calmly into the phone.

" _Are you sure. Well I suppose you wouldn't say that if you weren't."_ He could hear the worry and exhaustion in his mother's voice. Ever since they found out Haruka was having nightmares again they've been worried all day. They even left early in the morning to go and visit Haruka's old doctor-which is where his mother currently was. He would have gone to but they had left before he'd woken up…

"You don't need to worry too much… She should be fine for a while…" That is if he's lucky enough to get her to agree to do what they did last night again. He knew it would take more than one good night to make the nightmares go away. But…

" _I hope so. Senju-Sensei thinks Haru must of had some kind of trigger for her to be suddenly having the nightmares again. Do you know anything that could have happened?"_

...He'd thought before about telling his family about what happened in the shed, but he knew it was bad enough for Haruka knowing it happened, and it'd only be worse for her if she was aware more people knew. "Nothing I can think of." He was glad that he was at least good at lying.

" _If you say so… I guess there's not much else we can do. Senju-Sensei said we could bring Haru in if she has anymore nightmares…"_

At the sound of that option Itachi couldn't help but flinch… Going to that doctor was the right thing, but taking her there would mean…

With the frightening instinct his mother seemed to have, she also seemed to guess what he was thinking. " _I would have also prefered to have Haru never remember what happened, but… if she goes through her day without really being there, there'll be no other option."_

"...I understand."

" _...We'll be heading home soon, so try to keep it together. We'll be back at night."_

"Ok."

" _I love you."_

"I love you too."

With that the phone call ended, and Itachi relaxed into his desk chair. He looked back down at the open book of fairytales. He just felt like reading through it, but it was all just words going into his head without really latching on. So, he just closed it, and let it sit on his desk as he just stared down at it without thinking about it…

He was right about holding her at night. It helped her sleep, and she only stirred every so often in her sleep. She stayed asleep the entire night, and he knew because he only dozed in and out at night while watching her-too worried to sleep all the way.

In the moment it seemed like a good idea, but when he knocked on the door to the bathroom he could tell she was acting different, and he knew it was his fault-it was usually his fault when it came to Haruka. She was always so reserve, so to have to show so much vulnerability must just be confusing her. Gnawing at her. He didn't know what to do about it.

Whatever he could try thinking about to have her understand she doesn't need to be so self aware all consisted of actually _talking_ to her, and he knew that's the last thing she'd allow.

He wanted what they used to have as kids, but it was apparently his fault she got a crush on him. He wanted to help her when she was having the nightmares, but it was his fault she's more self conscious. He wanted to help her right now in anyway he could, but it was his fault he didn't know how to deal with this. Understanding another's emotions and how to help them with it was never something he was good at. And never has he resented that fact as much as he did when it came to Haruka.

...Holding the urge to sigh or groan his just mindlessly flipped through pages of the book… Then, he noticed there was something in between two of the pages. He pulled it out and saw it was a picture of Haruka on her Kindergarten Opening ceremony. She was smiling politely at the camera but he remembered her being excited that day… That is until she found out he couldn't go with her… He remembered when it was much simpler with her. He didn't have to think too much about what she was thinking, and she would tell him everything.

...Looking at the picture, however, he found himself remembering his thought when he held her last night. How he hadn't noticed how much she's actually grown…

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Itachi glanced up down at his phone and saw it was already 22:24. He'd spent the day staying in his room. He knew Haruka wouldn't want to be anywhere near him, so he decided to at least try and give her some peace of mind. Everyone had already gone to bed, and he knew where his destination tonight was. He only hoped she would let him.

He let out a sigh as he tossed the towel onto his bed, and quietly left his room. His room was only a few doors down from hers, and once he was in front of her door he stared at it for a moment. A thought came to knock on the door rather than barge it, but he knew she wouldn't answer.

So, he opened the door and saw a lump in her bed. For a split second he thought she was already asleep, but he saw her flinch under her blanket. The sight of that made him feel a slight weight on his chest. But he tried to bite it through, it was for her after all.

He walked toward her and he could see the way she was curling into herself under her sheets, and he began to rethink his methods. But he knew there was no other way.

Once he reached her bed she was practically shivering from head to toe.

"...Haruka…" She flinched. She flinched just at him having to say her name. "...I'm sorry." The words slipped out of his mouth, but he did not try to hold them back. He waited until she stilled for him to slowly take a seat on her bed. He looked down at her, and wanted to actually reach over and touch her, but he didn't want to see her flinch because of him again… "I'd leave you alone if I could… I know you don't like to be near me, and I know it would make you happier if I didn't have to be here… but I can't leave you…" He thought of ending with 'Not like this' but the words wouldn't reach his mouth, oddly.

Itachi tried to think about how he was going to slide in after saying that, but his thoughts were cut short when Haruka grabbed his wrist. It was a weak grip, and her hand was trembling, but he couldn't stop the leap in his chest when he saw her move to him. He looked from her face buried under her blanket to her hand, and he realized just how red her ear was-for him to even tell in the darkness of the room.

He could only blink down at her in reaction to the sudden response. "... H… Hurry…" Her voice was quiet, and he could tell she was trying to keep that harsh tone of hers that he had grown so accustomed to over the years, as much as he could tell it wasn't all there.

...A smile crawled its way to his lips as he looked down at her. She was still reluctant and self conscious about this situation, but something felt a little less tense than last time… Maybe even less tense than it had been for years… "Alright." Was all he could manage to say as he laid himself down next to her, and wrapped his arms around her-separated only by a blanket. He could feel her hair tickle his chin as he buried her face into his chest.

Looking back on his thought from earlier, he realized, he'd never seen this kind of reaction from her before. And, he couldn't help but smile a little to it.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

As morning crept into the room Haruka began to feel consciousness creep in as well. Her eyes strained as they adjusted to the brightened room, and she pulled herself out of drowsiness. Once again, memories of the night before began to slowly flood into her mind, and, once again, she found her eyes snap open and her face reddening to the thought. This time, however, she just threw the covers over her head and tried to bury away the memories with no success.

This time, she couldn't find a proper answer to a question roaring in her head. 'Why the hell did I do that?!'

There was no doubt that every fiber in her being wanted to feel _him_ , but that didn't answer why she actually went and grabbed _his_ wrist out of nowhere.

...It might of had something to do with _his_ words, and the way _he_ just… sounded…

Frustrated at her own thoughts she could only let out a sigh…

Then, she noticed. Once she did her eyes slightly widened as she took the covers off her head and sit up right. She stared down at her sheets for a moment before holding up a bit of it up to her nose… 'It smells just like _him_ …' She realized with a heavy heart.

Her knees rose up to her face, and she still help the sheet up to her face. She let _his_ scent wash over her mind as she realized just how easily this could all become addicting… This thought sent more fear down into her stomach.


	9. Tsunade

"And you could just imagine that Shikamaru wasn't interested in it at all." Ino exclaimed, finishing her story.

"Well that sounds like him." Tenten said as she ate another fry.

Ino, Tenten, Sakura, Hinata, and Haruka were all currently taking a break in the food court after they finished shopping. It was the other girls that were really talking, Haruka and Hinata were mostly just eating and watching. Haruka even lost focus for a while about what Ino was talking about.

They were all currently at the mall because Ino insisted on taking them all out to shop for bathing suits because, apparently, when she invited Sai to the new indoor pool park thing, she had to make it sound casual by saying she'll be taking some friends. So, to be ready for the pool trip-that she didn't know _when_ it was-she decided they all had to look cute for it.

...Usually Haruka would have just stayed home for something like this. After all, indoor or not, it was getting colder so she didn't want to go swimming. Not only that, but Ino had just asked Haruka about the shopping trip only that morning. On _normal_ circumstances, Haruka would have just shot her down and end it there-enough was on her plate to worry about as it was. However, to Haruka's own annoyance, Sasuke had overheard Ino inviting her, and answered for her that she'd go.

It's not that Haruka didn't like Ino, it's just that she had work she needed to get done, and she was never really into "girl time." After All, she practically grew up playing with boys-mostly Sasuke and Naruto. She wasn't used to girl things like going shopping, or gossiping. She didn't even know how to paint her own nails.

"Hey, Haru-chan!" Ino suddenly turned her attention to said person.

"Yeah?" Haruka replied with-being shot out of her thoughts.

"Now that I remember, didn't you date Shikamaru for a while?"

Haruka never really felt great whenever she remembered that. "Yeah, but for a week."

Sakura looked at her surprised. "Really? How did that happen?"

Haruka just shrugged, it wasn't really that interesting of a story. "We just hung out a lot during our first year, and everyone said we looked like a couple. We tried dating, but nothing really changed so we just went back to being friends."

"How'd you guys even start in the first place? It doesn't sound like an idea either of you would have." Ino said.

Haruka felt her eyes narrow ever so slightly out of irritation. "Ino, it was your idea."

This made the blonde's eyes go wide with shock. "It was?!"

"You just came up to us in class asking if we'd be against dating each other. When we both said no, and you then said 'great, now you're dating.'" They both were just too tired to deny her and just agreed to it, but it ended as quickly as it started.

"Oh, ok _now_ I'm remembering that." Ino said with a smile.

"I can see Ino meddling in someone else's love life." Sakura stated calmly.

"Speaking of love life, how's yours Hinata?"

"I rest my case."

Hinata turned bright red at the question. It made Haruka a little proud to see that Hinata still seemed functional even after being asked that. She looked down at her half eaten cinnamon roll with a look that was a mix of both embarrassment and happiness-the later half catching Haruka's attention. "Um… It's… good…"

Haruka slightly noticed that Ino wasn't bothered by Hinata's soft way of speaking, but most of her attention was on what Hinata said. They hadn't talked about Naruto lately, so she wasn't aware of how much progression the two have been having behind the scenes. "What do you mean good?" Haruka couldn't help herself from asking.

To which Hinata grew redder, and Ino leaned in closer with an anticipating grin.

"U-Um…!" It only made Haruka more curious that Hinata was having this kind of reaction.

'Naruto what the hell did you do to Hinata?' She couldn't help but think with a mix of excitement and anger.

"Hey, if you're going to bring up love lives you should at least say your own." Sakura said, obviously trying to help the bright red girl from interrogation.

"Yeah, you guys are about to make Hinata blow." Tenten added.

Haruka leaned back in her seat disappointed in not getting the information she wanted, but she decided she'd just ask later over the phone.

Ino, on the other, grinned even bigger at the question. "Well that's the whole reason we're here isn't it?"

"So you're really going for Sai this time?" Tenten asked.

"Yup!"

"I don't get why." Sakura muttered.

"You're just mad because he called you ugly~." Ino sang.

"Shut up!"

Haruka thought back to her first encounter with Sai, and she could see that happening.

"Either way, Sai is so cool. He does some really beautiful drawing and-"

"Naruto?" Haruka cut off the blonde when she spotted the other blonde quickly racing over to the girls.

At Haruka's interruption, the other girls turned to look that it was not only Naruto but, his infamous godfather, Jiraiya that was behind him. Naruto quickly stopped at their table giving them a pleading look. "Guys you gotta help me! Someone's trying to kill me!"

"Naruto we gotta get moving!" Jiraiya pushed.

But before, any of the girls could even respond, in a flash, there was a blonde woman with noticeably large breasts standing behind the pair- as she emitted the aura of hate. " _Jiraiya! Naruto!_ " She said in a voice matching the look on her face.

The two immediately fell down to their knees with looks of fear painted across their faces-Haruka began to notice that people were watching.

"Tsunade-sama I swear this all just one big misunderstanding please understand!" Jiraiya cried.

"The old perv's lying! It was all him! I swear I didn't even know what he was doing until you showed up!"

"You're supposed to be defending me Naruto! What kind of pupil are you?!"

"Shut up you giant pervert-!"

"Tsunade-san, what are you doing here?" Sakura cut them both off as she stood up to look the woman in the eyes.

Tsunade's anger submitted once her eyes fell on the pink haired teen. "Oh, Sakura-chan. I came here to buy some new clothes. Until-" At that her dark aura came back and looked down at the males still on their knees. "I caught a pair of peeping toms at the changing room."

...At the sound of that Ino, Tenten, Sakura, and Haruka all looked at said pair with a blank accusing look.

Naruto shot up to his feet looking at them with pleading eyes. "I swear I only saw Jiraiya and I didn't know what he was doing! I'm innocent really!" None of the girls dropped their look of accusation, so the blonde turned to the only one not obviously doubting him. "Hinata-chan, you believe me right?!"

Said girl turned bright red at the attention, but-surprisingly-kept her composure well. She looked Naruto right into his blue eyes begging for mercy, and she gave him a smile of reassurance. "I-I believe you. You wouldn't lie about something like this."

This caused Naruto's eyes to water and burst with tears as he looked at her forgiving light. "Hinata-chan you're so kind!"

"Wait, Sakura-chan, how do you know her?" Tenten asked said pink haired girl.

"Hm? Oh, Tsunade-san drops by the hospital that I volunteer at."

Haruka looked back to Tsunade as she focused all her glarings onto Jiraiya, and this time there was a worried looking brunette standing behind her… Haruka stared at the blonde woman longer, and she began to feel something in her head turning…

"Um… Tsunade-san?" Once said woman looked over at Haruka curiously, she continued. "Have… Have we met before?"

Haruka couldn't pinpoint it, but she felt as though she'd see this same woman somewhere before. It was almost eerie how familiar she looked.

Tsunade studied her face for a moment, and Haruka saw the way her eyes widened as though she realized something. "You're Fugaku Uchiha-san's daughter."

This took Haruka off guard. 'She knows Oto-san?' "How do you-?"

"I did business with him before. That must be how you recognize me." She said with a smile so confident Haruka just had to go with it… even though something felt off. There was also the fact that her answer alone was just odd. "Hey, since I'm here how about I take you girls to some food better than in the food court, after all," she looked over at a still kneeling Jiraiya with a gleam in her eyes, "it's all on a certain someone."

"Y-Yes mam." Was all the older man could say under her gaze.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

_"No one else could make it?"_ Sasuke said through the phone.

Haruka sighed a little-her breath turning into a light frosty puff in the air. "Well, everyone said their parents were expecting them home soon. Naruto came, but he just left. Apparently he wasn't supposed to be out this late either, but he forgot."

_"Figures. Where are you anyways?"_

"Some new restaurant on the other side of the city."

_"W_ _hy did you even go?"_

"I've been wanting to try this place, and I thought Naruto was going to be here the whole time."

_"And now you're alone with three adult strangers. Do Oto-san and Oka-san know?"_

"I called them before I came. They know Jiraiya, and apparently Oto-san did business with Tsunade-san."

_"'Business?' What kind of business?"_ From the tone he had, Haruka could tell he was having similar thoughts to hers.

"I don't know, I haven't got around to asking. Besides, if she really did do something with Oto-san I doubt she'd really be able to talk about it."

_"...I guess you're right."_

Haruka has been very aware of what her father's 'business' is for a long time, and she was also aware that he didn't expect any of them to follow in his footsteps. She accepted what her father did, but she still couldn't really wrap her head around the details that could go along with it.

_"How are you getting home anyways?"_

"Shizune-san said she'd give me a ride home when it's over."

_"...You told Oto-san about all this?"_

"I already told you I did."

_"...It's just weird. Oto-san doesn't like us being near people he works with, none the less eat with them and let them drop you off home."_

"I thought that too…" Her father never even brought "coworkers" or "clients" to the house. He set up a whole other building for those kinds of things. Haruka also can't remember when, but at one point he fired all the house keepers. So now the only people allowed in their house are family and friends.

_"I gotta go now. I still need to study for the test on monday."_

"Alright. Study hard."

_"Bye."_

"Bye."

...Haruka took in cold autumn air, and then made her way back into the restaurant. Once in she noticed that Jiraiya and Shizune were both lingering at the bar, and Tsunade was the only one sitting at the table.

She took her seat at the table, and quietly hoped Tsunade wouldn't try talking to her. "So, how was the call?" She found her hopes were not heard.

"Fine. Sasuke was studying."

"Hm…" Was all she replied with before drinking down another shot. "The other two are over at the bar getting more drinks-Jiraiya's paying of course-so you can go ahead and ask whatever you've been wanting to ask."

At the sound of that Haruka's eyes widened a little. "Wha-" She was cut off with a look from the older woman that suggested she saw right through her… Figuring she did actually have questions Haruka just went on. "...You said you worked with Oto-san, but what did you work on?"

Tsunade didn't look at her when she answered-her eyes were set on the empty glasses around her. "Unfortunately, your Oto-san wouldn't want me telling you details on that."

'I figured as much.' "That makes sense… Do you normally work with men like Oto-san?"

"I work with all kinds of people, but your Oto-san is the only one of his field I've ever worked with."

"...What made you decide to work with him?"

Tsunade gave her a look that was really trying to figure her out, but they fell back down after a moment. "Why would I turn him down?"

"...Most people… they tend to not want to be near Oto-san when they know what he does. They're cautious, and afraid… Not a lot of people work with Oto-san unless they have similar background to his… So, what let you work with someone like him?" 'What let you work with the head of a yakuza?'

"...The kind of job he offered me, was one that if I turned down, I would've had to question my morals." Haruka gave her a questioning look, and-even though she didn't look up-Tsunade seemed to have noticed. "It wasn't something shady he asked me to do. It was actually quite the opposite."

"...When… When did you work with Oto-san?"

Tsunade finally looked right at her, and she had a somewhat fond smile on her face, but there almost looked like there was some kind of strain. "It was when you were about four or five."

That's when it hit Haruka. "Oh, I don't remember much from that time."

To this Tsunade's eyes had an odd look in them. "Why not?"

"I had gotten sick a lot when I was little, so I can't remember it too well. It's all kind of blurry and fuzzy memories and all I really remember is feeling bad." Because she had gotten sick so much her parents had to pull her out of kindergarten. Once she got better she was lucky enough for the school to test her and see she was fine to move on to the first grade.

Tsunade mumbled something under her breath, and when Haruka asked what it was, she just smiled and waved her off before taking another shot.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

" _Hello?"_

" _Who is this?"_

" _Oh, I'm Shizune. Um, the owner of this phone is a little busy at the moment, but I can take a message."_

" _Where's Haruka?"_

" _There's been a drunken mishap and she's helping me clean up the mess-. B-But she hasn't touched liquor I swear!"_

" _I see… Are you the one that's going to drop her home?"_

" _Um, about that… I was going to but things have kind of escalated, so I have to take care of the two others here. So can- Oh wait, who are you?"_

" _I'm her older brother. Itachi."_

" _Ah, ok. Well Itachi-san, can you send someone to pick her up?"_

" _...Everyone else is busy… I can pick her up."_

" _Oh that's great! I really didn't want to leave her alone until I found someone to take her! If you tell me your number right now I can send you the address of where we'll be waiting."_

" _Of course. Its…"_

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haruka had never seen a bar brawl before, and, to be frank, it wasn't as bloody as she originally thought it was, but it did manage to get them all kicked out of the restaurant. She was just glad she managed to try some of their food though.

They were currently sitting in a McDonald's with both Tsunade and Jiraiya's faces down on the tables since they'd bother passed out from their drinking. Shizune also had her face to the table, but it was because she was tired from having to help clean up their mess, apologize to the owner, get yelled at by the owner, and pay the owner. Haruka really began to pity Shizune.

She wanted to ask them when they were going to start heading back out since she needed to start getting home, but she felt like there had been too much chaos to ask that. So, she just went through her phone and read through some manga online.

They'd been just sitting there exhausted for a good twenty minutes until Shizune's phone vibrated, and she seemed to have come right back to life when it did. She quickly looked down at her phone and a smile of pure relief came across her face. "Oh, he's here."

"Who's here?" Haruka asked curious as to what brought life back to her face.

"Did I not tell you? I guess things really did get hectic. Your brother called earlier, and since I have to take care of these two now he'll be picking you up. 'Itachi' he said his name was."

Once Haruka heard those words go out of her mouth she felt her face pale, and her eyes widened into large orbs. She couldn't stop herself from quickly rising to her feet and slamming her hands on the table. "Aniki?!" She yelled-her voice ever so slightly cracking.

Shizune's eyes widened to Haruka's outburst, and she immediately looked worried. "Is there something wrong with your brother?"

"N-No it's just…!" The words slipped out of her mouth, and she didn't know how to continue her sentence. She didn't even know why she went immediately on the defense to the question, but she also didn't know how to explain it. She'd just met Shizune, so it was harder to explain than to someone that already knew she "couldn't stand her brother." Haruka also mentally slapped herself for having that kind of reaction. "Its…"

"Haru-san, are you really fine with going with your brother? If there's something wrong-"

"No!" Haruka could see in Shizune's eyes what she was thinking. "H-He's not bad! He's just… He's…" 'He's the boy I've been in love with since I was little, have tried avoiding since I was nine, and has been sleeping in my bed with me for more than a week to keep me from waking up in the middle of the night from terror inducing dreams.' "...He's just been gone for so long that… I'm still not used to him being back from college…" Haruka tried to make her excuse sound believable, but she worried Shizune's eyes would burn enough into her to see the truth.

…Shizune stared at her for a while, until she finally just let out a reluctant sigh. "You nearly gave me a heart attack with that reaction." She said with relief in her voice.

Haruka felt her face heat up at her own ridiculousness. "I-I'm sorry." She quiet replied.

"It's fine. He's waiting outside though, so you should hurry. I still need to deal with these two drunks." Was the last thing Shizune said before Haruka just quickly bowed to her and raced out of the restaurant-feeling eyes on her back from strangers that witnessed her display.

Once she felt the cold air hit her burning cheeks her eyes met found _his_ car right at the front. She felt her breath hitch in her throat when she realized what this meant. She really had to be stuck in a small space with him, and she couldn't think of a way out of it. Sasuke didn't know how to drive, her parents were out again for the night, so that meant _he_ was her only ride. She had no money for a taxi on her, she was on the other side of town, so she couldn't just get herself home.

Haruka pressed her lips together when she saw him sitting in the driver's seat looking out through his window. She didn't want to. She really, _really_ didn't want to. She wished she could run away from this situation or just go back into the restaurant and never come out, but there was nowhere else to go. She felt like she was pushed into a corner and now has to go with it.

So, reluctantly, she just pressed down her lips, lowered her head and quickly walked to the passenger seat hoping for the drive to be quick. She also tried to ignore the smallest part of her that felt... almost excited.


	10. Unfamiliar

Sasuke clicked his tongue when he realized they'd run out of tomatoes already. He'd finally come down stairs to get a snack to eat for a break. 'Haru probably ate the last ones again.' He thought to himself bitterly. 'Just because we're twins doesn't mean we have to have the same taste in food.' He closed the fridge and tried to think of something else to eat.

Just when he was about to turn he heard his phone ring from his hoodie pocket. He pulled it out and his eyes immediately widened when he saw the caller ID flash "Hinata." His eyes strained a little down in a combination of nervousness and concentration. He paced a little in the small space in front of the fridge as his free hand ran through his hair as he tried to get his thoughts together on the matter.

Finally, he just sighed quickly pushed the answer button. "Hello." He managed to even his voice out, but he felt a strain in his throat and chest.

" _Hello, Sasuke-kun. Um… Is Haru-san home yet?"_

Just hearing her soft voice that closely to his ear made his heart leap for a moment. He tried to hold back a sigh and just answered carefully. "No, she's still not home yet, but I can check in with her if you want." That's when it hit Sasuke. 'If she wanted to know, why did she call _me_?'

" _That'd be great actually. I was just worried. I wanted to go with her, but…"_

"She knows you have a curfew, so she won't hold it against you."

" _I-I know it's just…"_

"...Hinata, why did you call?" Right now he could picture the look on her face that says, 'Am I really that easy to read?'

" _...It's nothing really. It's just… When I got home I told Neji-nii about the shopping trip. I told him who went, and when I mentioned Haru-chan…"_

Sasuke never had much fun thinking back on his sister's love life, but her chapter with Neji especially just because of how painful it seemed to have been for them both. "Did he say anything?"

" _No, he was just quiet about it, but I know it's still too much for him to talk about her… I'm sorry, it's a little silly to call for something like this."_

"It's fine, you don't need to apologize."

" _Thank you… I'm just worried about them. Haru especially… I still don't really get why they broke up-Neji-nii still won't tell me-but it must have been something bad for them to still not be able to be in the same room together."_

Sasuke knew how true it was. Before Haru dated Neji, it was normal for him to tag along with Hinata whenever they went out together. He remembered when they first started dating the two were together most of the time, and there was a part of him that hoped he could help Haru get over Itachi. He didn't think Shikamaru would, and he wasn't too hopeful in Menma-he'd spend more time helping other people than being with her.

Neji and Haru both were just clicking great in a way that was different from the other two, that it almost looked like they were really falling for eachother. However, almost out of nowhere, Haru came home late and just went to her room without a word. Sasuke didn't learn that they broke up until the next day. To this day, all Haru told him about it was that she just couldn't get over Itachi.

" _...Neji-nii seems to be getting out there again with dating-in his own way-so I'm happy for that. But, Haru-chan…"_

"I know what you mean." 'She doesn't want to try dating again, since she's already concluded that she can't get over her feelings.'

" _...I just want her to find someone… I-It's not to say that I think Haru-chan_ needs _someone, but it's just…"_

"What?"

" _Haru-chan… Does she ever seem to hide her feelings sometimes?"_

This question took Sasuke completely off guard for a seconded, and his eyes widened to only relax after a moment. 'You're not as unreadable as you think you are Haru.' "...Yeah, sometimes."

" _I try to talk to her, but I can tell she just really doesn't want to… I just wish Haru had someone she_ could _talk to. Someone she could feel comfortable to tell anything to… She always seems like there's a lot weighing on her…"_

As much as Sasuke wanted to say-to both Hinata and himself-that Haru told him everything, he knew it wasn't true. She told him more than she did anyone else, but he knew that she still had a habit of keeping things to herself. However, to the point Hinata was making… He knew Itachi, and he knew that he would be someone Haru _could_ tell everything to, and she used to, but there's no way she'd be able to with that barrier she feels she always has to put up-or else he'd find out about her feelings…

Which was such a waste. He knew that Itachi was a good person to be in Haru's life. He was patient with her, would listen to her, and-according to her-there's no one else that makes her feel safe. When Haru broke up with Menma, Shikamaru, and Neji, there was always a part of Sasuke that secretly wished that she could just be with their brother. Out of all the boys in her life, none have been a better pair for her than the very one she was always running away from.

"...I think so too."

" _...Thank you, Sasuke-kun. I just felt like ranting a little bit I guess. I should be going to bed now. Bye."_

"Bye." With that the call ended, and Sasuke stared down at the words that said 'Call Ended.'

. . . . . . . . . . . .

It's already been nearly ten minutes since Haruka got into the car, but it felt as though time was just standing still. No words were said in the car ride, she just got in, put on her seat belt, and no words were said as he pulled out of the driveway and she stared intently out her window. She was thankful to the fact that he wasn't trying to start conversation, but it was still very hard to just ignore the elephant in the room.

Even if _he_ didn't know how she felt, he was still aware of the fact that she didn't like being around him. There was also the fact that, for a week already, he's been holding her while she slept in order to keep her from having those nightmares-that already felt like years behind her. This was the real problem.

It was just like that time she was in the shower. She was now just painfully aware of what it felt like to have his arms wrapped around her, to feel his warmth around her, for his breath to right at her ear, to have his scent burning her- 'Haruka, control yourself!' She yelled at herself in her head as she felt her face begin to burn-and she was thankful to the darkness of the night. These thoughts have been echoing over and over and _over_ again for the past week, and every time she had to think of it while she was actually _around_ him, it only made remembering all the more painful.

She felt her defenses crumbling, and she didn't know how she was supposed to get herself back into her control. It didn't help that she was made even more aware of it all when the very center of all the anxiety was sitting right next to her in a car that had a heavy silence in it. She even felt herself holding her breath to not risk her breathing abnormally.

"...Do you want to play music?"

Haruka flinched at the voice that broke the silence. She didn't look at him, but she felt her hand grip down on her sweater sleeve. She tried to swallow down a lump in her throat to try evening herself. "I don't care." Was all she could force out, and she quickly regretted saying that because _any_ other sound would help this whole situation.

...There was just another silence that hung in the air, and through the moment, Haruka just continued to repeat "IDIOT!" over and over to herself in her head. Until, she noticed a hand reach other to her side, and her first reaction was to quickly flich up right from it, and she was just about ready to shout something until she noticed it only opened the glove compartment right in front of her. His hand went back to the steering wheel, and she just peeked through her hair to look at him confused, but found his eyes were just glued to the road. "There's some CDs in there if you want to pick. Most of them are pretty old though."

'Well no one really uses CDs anymore.' Was Haruka's first thought, but she just bit down on her tongue, and curiously looked into the glove compartment. She knew he wasn't really into music, so she was curious to see what he had in there. It was mostly old CDs that looked like they were Oka-san's or Shisui's from way back when.

However, Haruka's eyes slightly widened when she noticed one that she actually remembered. She pulled it out of the compartment to get a better look at it, and she was just slightly confused. "You want to listen to that one?"

She tried not to flinch, but she couldn't help it to the sound of his voice. She just focused all her attention to the CD to try calming her nerves. Without another word, she just popped out the CD and quickly-almost breaking the disk-into the CD jack of the car. Once she was done setting it all up she just shoved the empty container into the glove compartment, closed it, and put her attention back to the window as music-thankfully-flooded inside the car.

There was no more talking for a while, and the sound that overlapped everything else inside the car was the familiar music. Haruka's mind was swarming with confusion. It didn't make sense to her as to why he _still_ had that CD. It was a soundtrack CD for the movie Totoro, and he'd bought it for her when she was seven. She loved it of course, but she kept it in his room because she'd used to spend most her time in there. She'd forgotten all about it after the incident when she was eight, and realized how wrong her feelings were. 'But… Why does he still have it?' Was all she could wonder.

He didn't get his first car until he was eighteen-five years after she stopped using it-so, even if he just mindlessly moved all the CDs from his old car to the one he had now, he still would of had to move the CD to the first car.

'He never really listened to it though. Sasuke and Shisui didn't care much about it either. The only one that actually listened to the CD was...me.' That thought sent a sudden rush of heat to her face, a rush that she immediately began to resent as she held back an urge to slap some sense into herself. 'Don't think too far into it! Don't you _dare_ think to far into it! It's just a coincidence! Maybe he has his own reasons! Don't try to read something that _isn't there_!'

Never, _never_ , had she ever thought something that she did now. It was only a quiet thought in the back of her mind, but that's more than there ever was. That thought she never even considered, never _allowed_ herself to consider, never _hopeful_ enough to consider. She just tried to push away and destroy any thought of what that CD secretly made her wonder. Wonder whether or not there was a shred of feelings returned…

'No… No that can never be right… He probably just has it because of circumstances. Even if that's not the case… He's just always been a good brother…' In her memories, before the realization, before the self loathing, she remembered a time when he'd hold her and play with her as much as she asked for. Always caring and giving to her. Never was there a moment that she didn't feel safe when she was with him. It was that very nature of his, to simple abide to all demands of his younger kin with all he had, that made her fall for him so tragically. But that's all it was. All his affections and patience, it was all just because she was his sister… 'Even if there was just the _smallest_ bit of him that returned her feelings, what would that do?'

If it turned out that in some way, at all, he shared her feelings, she knew… she knew that even then he wouldn't allow them to be together. Shew knew what kind of person he was. He'd put her well being first, and he'd _decide_ what that meant. He'd know there wasn't anyway to live in society properly with the kind of relationship that they would have… If he, _miraculously_ , shared her feelings, it would only be another restrained heart… Haruka knew that she would only hate that more than she already hated now. It's one thing to suffer alone, it's another to drag someone down with her.

Her trail of thoughts slowly cam to a halt as she began to notice how long the car was just sitting there. Haruka realized they were stuck in traffic, and she could only feel calm if she felt the car moving. If she felt the car sitting still she would then begin to realize just how tight the car is, and just how little air was really in it. So, as soon as she realized they'd be sitting there for a while, Haruka reached over to roll the window down.

However, right as she was about to press the button, she felt a light weight on her shoulder and back. She flinched at the touch and quickly looked to see it was a sweater-one that was too big for her. She looked to the only other person in the car and saw he was opening both his window and her's through the driver control panel. For a moment, Haruka was confused until she noticed water droplets falling from the window into the car. It's raining outside.

Haruka shyly looked at him with questioning eyes. He kept his eyes on the traffic filled road as he spoke. "I know you need the windows open at a time like this, but I don't want you to get sick. So zip up the sweater." He said calmly, as though expecting her to lash out if he didn't.

Normally, Haruka would have just shaken off the sweater and turn away from him for the rest of the ride. But, her hands gripped onto the sweater as she realized his familiar scent was buried into it, and he had opened his own window. It would have been fine if it was just her window, but if it's his too… "... Y-You don't have to have your window up too." She looked down at her lap as she spoke without thinking. She didn't know why she was talking, and she knew she'd just regret it later, but she couldn't stop herself. "I have a stronger immune system than you, so I don't need you sweater as much as you do." Before she knew it, she just let what this was _really_ about fly out of her mouth. "So stop babying me just because I'm you sister."

...In that moment, Haruka had just decided she needed to get her tongue surgically removed. She didn't know what's been getting into her lately, she just knew every other emotion was pouling in and out of her to the point that she couldn't get herself together anymore. For one, she was talking without thinking straight, and second, she, for even a _moment_ , was considering whether or not _he_ had the same feelings as her. There was a limit to how much the mind wanders!

As she was promising herself to just never talk again, she noticed _his_ eyes fall on her again. "I'm not doing this because you're my sister. I'm doing it because I don't want you to get sick. _You_ , Haruka."

That line hit something Haruka never thought she'd feel coming from _him_. She only remembered feeling this from Menma a few times and even more with Neji, but neither felt to this degree. Her face blew up in heat, and she felt her heart squeeze tightly-until it was hard to breath. She quickly looked out the window-rain drops dripping onto her face-and tried to not think about the smile he just gave her, to not think about the words he just told her. She felt her pulse quicken and she tried to calm it down-worried he might hear it. Her hands tightened on the sweater around her shoulders-unconscious to the fact that the smell of rain and sun were enveloping her. She prayed and prayed and prayed that the sound of the music could drown out everything else.

However. "Haruka, your red. Are you getting sic-?"

He was reaching over to touch her cheek, and she couldn't think of what else to do other than to slap away his hand. However, with her slap she turned her head to face him in the spur of it all. She didn't know what expression she had, she only knew that her face was most likely bright red. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why she looked at him, but she couldn't stop her eyes from locking onto his. She also couldn't figure out why his went wide when he looked at her… She was only aware that his eyes were the same as they've always been, and her heart couldn't calm down...

…

…

…

"…Haruk-"

_**HONK!** _

They both jumped at the sound of the car behind them.

Haruka just fumbled with the hoodie of the sweater as she forced it over her head and she looked out the open window-that blew cold air in her face that she _desperately_ needed. "K-Keep your eyes on the road!" Was all she could muster as she tried to calm down her racing heart and burning face…

Eventually she did calm herself down, not completely but enough. She forced herself quiet, and it helped that _he_ didn't try talking to her afterwards… In fact, he didn't try talking to her the rest of the drive home.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haruka stared up at the ceiling of her bedroom, but found no silence in her head. Frustrated she rolled onto her side, but still she couldn't escape the fresh memories of the car ride. After _that_ the entire ride was silent, and there wasn't even a word between them as she jumped out of the car and quickly went to shower. She didn't even stop to say hello to Sasuke, she just wanted to escape into her dreams as soon as possible. However, sleep was having a hard time getting to her.

She groaned as she tried forcing the pillow over her face, but, _surprisingly_ , it didn't help anything.

'You _, Haruka'_

...She just sighed as she felt her body go limp. 'How do you always manage to say the worse things?'

Haruka tried to just forget about it, like she did most things involving him. She tried to forget about the sweater that smelled like him, the CD in his car, and about the way his eyes would look at her with care… However, as she tried to forget the words he said to her, she couldn't stop her subconscious from storing them somewhere lost in her head…

. . . . . . . . . . . .

'It's locked.' Itachi thought to himself as tried opening Haruka's door. It had been a week already, and he noticed that she was sleeping more soundly at night, but he still came to check on her anyways. But…

He didn't know what to do. He could just go to bed and take the hint that she didn't want to be bothered, but he didn't know if she was completely fine from the dreams. He wanted to check on her, but she's now made it a bit difficult. There's also _that_ matter…

Itachi has watched over Haruka since the day she was born. He's known all kinds of things about her. Her reading habits, her taste in movies, her friends, and even who she has a crush on… but…

In the car, he saw her ears and cheeks turning bright red, and so the first thing he thought-thanks to the rain-was that she was getting sick. However, to no real surprise, she slapped his hand away. What took him off guard was her expression when she met his eyes. Her hair was in a disarray with strands all across her face, and one strand stuck to her lips. Her face was indead bright red, and it trailed from ear to ear. Her mouth lightly agapped as she gasped sharply, and her eyes… those purple orbs of hers were widened as they stared at him with something he couldn't figure out… He'd never noticed out hectic her hair could get, he never noticed how her her blush touched at the bridge of her nose, he never even noticed how her eyes looked like two shades of purple were swirled into her eyes…

He'd never seen that expression on her face before, and he didn't know what to think about it. Thinking about it… Thinking about it brought an unfamiliar feeling in his chest...


	11. Sick

"Sensei!" There was no reply. "Oi! Sense-OW! What was that for Sakura-chan?!"

"Just shut up Naruto! Can't you see Kakashi-Sensei's really glum over something?"

"But this is the third study hall in a row we've had. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be studying anymore!"

"Just study anything." With that Sakura just went back to her notes. Their conversation ended, and, of course, Kakashi didn't even blink to a word they had been sharing. Afterall, their conversation was only slightly louder than the bustle going throughout the rest of the classroom.

Sasuke looked over to their teacher, and his face was planted on top of his desk with a gloomy aura floating around him. He heard Naruto just sigh. "What do you think is up with- Haru-chan?!"

Sasuke looked at his sister and saw that-at this point he wasn't surprised-she was in the exact same state as their teacher. Her hair was scattered across her desk, and there was a gloomy aura around her. She'd been like this since the morning, but when he tried to ask her she just told him that she'll tell him when they get home. So, it's safe to assume why she's like this.

He didn't have an idea of what it was until he overheard from his mother that Itachi had to give her a ride from her outing last night. There's no telling what _exactly_ happened in the car, but it was no mystery why she was upset over it. So, he'll just wait until they get home for her to explain the details.

Naruto, on the other hand, didn't want to be patient with Haru. "Hey, what's wrong Haru-chan? Is Kakashi-Sensei contagious or something?"

"Naruto!" Sakura shrieked at Naruto, but Sasuke caught her quick glance in his direction. To be fair, he wasn't that bothered by Naruto's question, after all it did look like that.

Then, to Sasuke's surprise, Haru stirred. She peeked up through her hair with eyes that were as looked to be drained completely. "Huh?" Was all she quietly said as she looked at Naruto.

Both the knuckle head and Sakura visibly shivered at the dead look Haru gave them. Sasuke even slightly widened his eyes to her expression, but just quickly shook it off. "You finally woke up?"

Haru sighed and leaned back into her chair while rubbing at her eyes. "I wasn't asleep…" She quietly mumbled. When she looked back at the trio, she actually looked normal, just a little tired.

"Are you ok Haru?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah, you looked like death for a second there." Naruto said.

Haru just blinked a few times and looked down at her desk-to which there was no work on top of. "I just had a rough night. Watching two grown adults start a fight in a restaurant and having to clean afterwards is pretty tiring." She was convincing enough, but Sasuke could still catch that slight squirm of discomfort and light tint of pink on her cheeks.

"I still can't believe Tsunade-sama did something like that." Then her attention turned to Naruto-suddenly annoyed. "And weren't you supposed to stay with Haru? Why did you just leave early."

Naruto suddenly held his hands up in a defense gesture. "I couldn't help it, Oka-san was ready to rip my head off when she found me at the restaurant."

It looked to have been funny because Sasuke noticed Haru's smile. "It's fine. I'm not mad at you Naruto." Haru said. "Besides, even if I was mad I'm sure your Oka-san lashed out enough anger on you to repay both of us."

This made Naruto go slightly pale. "Wait, so are you mad at me or not?" He asked almost desperate now.

"Not mad at all~." Haru said pleasantly, but she looked off to the side when she said this.

"Haru-chan!"

Haru laughed-helping ease Sasuke's worries-and looked at Naruto with a smile. "I'm kidding."

Naruto looked like some sort of combination of annoyed and relieved.

Sasuke wanted to ask Sakura something, but… he didn't want to ruin Haru's sudden jump to being in a good mood-even if it was only on the surface. So, instead he just looked to said pink haired girl-who was looking amused at the conversation between the two. "Sakura," this quickly caught her attention and she looked at him with slightly widened eyes, "I want to ask you something. Can we go outside?"

This immediately makes her face flare up to a pink about the same shade as her hair. "S-Sure."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

'Well that was weird.' Haruka thought to herself as she watched the pair walk out the door.

She suddenly remembered Naruto and looked over to him expecting him to look at least a little jealous. However, he just peeked over at Sakura's work to see what she was studying… This observation made Haruka smile just a little bit.

"Hey, Naruto."

Said boy quickly flinched and dropped Sakura's papers back on her desk. "Yeah." He said, trying to look innocent.

Haru leaned her cheek on the palm of her hand as she observed her blonde childhood friend. "How have things been with Hinata-chan lately?"

Naruto looked confused by the question-which wasn't that great of a sign to Haruka. "Hinata-chan? Hm… Well not much, I've hung out with her a few times lately with Kiba and Ne-I-I-I mean!" Naruto suddenly looked worried over almost mentioning one of Haruka's most infamous exs.

She sighed at the reaction and tried to reassure him. "We've been broken up for a month now Naruto, I don't mind you hanging out with him. In fact, I wouldn't mind it even if it was the minute after we broke up. I'm fine, really." Haruka tried to sound as convincing as possible, but she still found it hard to even say Neji's name.

"Ah…" Naruto looked relieved but still uncomfortable to be on the topic of their big break up.

Haruka didn't mind his reaction so much, she just wished he'd get over it. "Anyways though, that's all that's been going on with Hinata-chan?"

"Yeah I guess…" Just when Haruka was disappointed in whatever development happened to have made Hinata blushing red at the mall, she noticed sudden realization in Naruto's eyes. It looked like a memory just hit him out of nowhere, and-to Haruka's absolute surprise-there was a tint of pink on his cheeks. "Although..."

"Yeah?" Haruka asked, trying to hold back _all_ of her anticipation.

Naruto looked a little lost in thought over something for a second before he just smiled his little goofy smile. "Hinata-chan managed to flip over this one guy while we were out! He was trying to steal from this old lady and Hinata had him flying like if he was _nothing_!"

Haruka could only give Naruto a deadpan look with a forced smile. "Is that so?" 'Not what I was expecting.'

"Yup! Hinata-chan's pretty cool isn't she?" Naruto's smile looked very sparkling at this point and he looked lost in his memory of the moment with the pink on his cheeks slightly darkening.

… Haruka sighed, but smiled happily at the smile on Naruto's face. 'Well, it's _something_ at least.'

It did make Haruka feel a little guilty from time to time to be rooting for Naruto and Hinata to develop. However, he's assured her _numerous_ times that she'd free to help Hinata with Naruto… So long as he stays out of it… She wished Sasuke could end up with someone he could be happy with, but the only girl he's ever had feelings for is already head over heels for someone else. Haruka has had to watch along with Sasuke to see that there was no way of breaking Hinata away from her feelings for the knucklehead, and…

Well, what with all the heartbreak in their home, Haruka at _least_ wanted _someone_ to come out of this mess happy. So, she always hoped that Hinata would be the one to come out with the one she's wanted to be with. Afterall, NaruHina was the most likely candidate to succeed… This thought manages to somehow both be fortunate and tragic…

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"So, what did you talk about with Sakura?" Haruka asked Sasuke as they made their usual walk home.

Sasuke just looked at the rain filled walk ahead of them. "Nothing important, just wanted to ask her a little more about this Tsunade woman."

"And?"

"Nothing much, just a doctor at the hospital Sakura works at."

"Ah…"

With that, they were once again left in silence on their walk home. Which, again, was fine for them both. This left Haruka time to observe her surroundings, and she noticed the skys really were getting darker and colder. Even as she let out small breaths, she could see the dusts of frost leave form by her exhaling. She slightly tightened her grip on her umbrella as she began to realize it was going to begin to snow anytime soon. It's not that Haruka disliked snow, it's simply that she'd prefer to observe it from inside her home than be outside with it.

Not to mention, the rain was just giving her deja vu of yesterday. This made her face tint red and she could only sigh tiredly. She noticed Sasuke give her a questioning look, but he also dropped it-much to her relief. The more she looked at the sky the gloomier she realized it looked… She then remembered something she'd been seeing at school, and looked to Sasuke-happy to have found a distracting topic. "Why do you think Kakashi-sensei's been out of it lately?"

Sasuke just gave her a raised brow as he looked down at her. "How should I know?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, I was just hoping you at least heard something. He's been out of it for a while now."

Sasuke looked back ahead as he opened the gate to their home. "He's always in and out of it, just like he's late and on time at random too."

"I guess. It's just that lately he's been really moody. He doesn't notice when others are talking during class, and he's been having us do a lot of study halls too." Haruka tried to think about it-she noticed Sasuke also lost in thought. Then, it hit her, and when she looked back at Sasuke he looked like he'd come up with a resolution himself. "Do you think...?"

Sasuke looked at her and-somehow-knew what she was suggesting. "Could be, he hasn't been coming by lately."

Haruka couldn't help a pitiful smile as she looked at the door to their house. "It does explain a lot."

Once they entered the house they both shouted: "We're home!"

In response, was their mother shouting "Welcome home!" from the kitchen.

Curious, when the pair of twins finished putting on their indoor shoes, they wondered to the kitchen to find their mother making… 'Okayu?'

Haruka stalked over closer to her mother, and Sasuke followed. Their mother looked over to them with a warm smile on her face. "How were your days?"

Haruka shrugged. "It was fine, except Sensei's gloomy again."

"Why are you making Okayu for one?" Sasuke chimed in.

With that, their mother went back to making it. "It seems like Itachi got sick all of a sudden, so I'm making him something to help him feel better."

Haruka immediately stiffened and she went slightly pale. However, before she could do anything, she felt Sasuke's hand grip her arm and slightly pull her back. "Nii-san is sick?" With that Sasuke dropped his grip on her arm.

Their mother nodded. "I'm not too surprised, I checked in his car earlier and the drive and passenger seat were both covered in water. I'm only surprise you didn't get sick Haru." Their mother sent Haruka a concerned look.

All Haruka could manage was a small smile and shrug. Their mother just finished up the food and went to go give it to the boy upstairs.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haruka was pacing back and forth inside Sasuke's room. She was even starting to fidget around with his stuff and moving them from one place to another. Anxiety and worry were swelling inside her chest, and she tried not to look back to her phone-which was on a website of different critical conditions. She wasn't able to breath until the door opened to reveal her younger twin.

Once he closed the door he made his way to sit down on his bed, and Haruka stalked over to him and immediately began bombarding him with questions. "Sasuke, are you _sure_ he was ok?"

Obviously annoyed already. "Yes, he's fine."

This wasn't enough for Haruka. "But what _kind_ of fine? Was he able to sit up right? Was his breathing ok? Is he green or red? Was he coughing a lot? What about sneezing? Did you ask him where it was hurting? Because there's this one disease that's like the cold except you have a really bad pain in the abdomen? Was it hurting him in the abdome-?!"

"Haru calm down!" Sasuke yelled at her through her rambling.

This didn't help her. "I can't help it! Why did he have to open his window in the first place? He should have known better that I would only need mine open! And he didn't have to give me his sweater either! He's always done stuff like this! Like how I forgot my umbrella in the first grade and he gave me his, and then he ended up sick the next day! Or when you lost your kite in the tree and he went up to get it and came back down in cuts and bruises! Why doesn't he know how to take care of himself?! It's not that hard-!"

"Haru _shut up_! And stop pacing, you're going to make markings on my floor."

Haruka paused since she didn't even notice she was pacing again. She finally took a breath and sighed. "...I'm just worried." 'It's my fault he got sick in the first place.' Even though she thought this, that was only part of the reason she was worried.

There was a moment of silence in the room-with Haruka looking deep in thought at the floor. Then, she heard rustling on Sasuke's side, and looked over to see him pulling out a mange from his dresser and began to read it with mild interest.

Just when Haruka was beginning to think she'd just go back to her room, Sasuke spoke again. "Why don't you just go check on him yourself?"

Haruka's wide eyes snapped back to her younger brother. "What?" 'Why would _you_ of all people be suggesting that?!'

"You've already made me go in there three times to make sure he was ok, and then I have to come back in here to here you talk a mile without taking a breath. So, you won't be satisfied until you see him for yourself."

Haruka knew Sasuke was right, and she had thought about just going in there herself at least half a dozen times. "But…" 'The whole point is that _he's_ there.'

"He was asleep last time I checked, so it should be fine." It was also surprising Haruka how calmly Sasuke was saying all of this.

"But-"

"I'm not telling you _to_ do it, I'm suggesting it might make you feel better."

"...I mean… It would…" 'But should I really go?' The swelling of anxiety and worry wasn't depleting no matter how many times she had Sasuke go in there, and she was getting no better looking up nonsense on the internet. She wanted to see him, but she wished it was that simple. 'I-I just don't want to slip somehow…'

Finally, begrudgingly, Haruka made her decision. She looked back at Sasuke-whose eyes were still locked on the manga.

"F-Five minutes." With that, Sasuke looked at her slightly confused, so she went on. "In five minutes, y-you have to get me out of there."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

It was warm, very warm. It was making it hard to think. Or course, Itachi has felt worse before, and this cold was only a cold, but that didn't make it feel any worse. He kept dozing off without really sleeping. Though, he suppose it was better than last night, at least he was getting some sleep. The night before he could only find himself tossing and turning as he couldn't get a certain image from last night out of his head... 'My head hurts. Maybe I should try taking some more medicine before I go to-'

He looked up and realized he'd once again dozed off only to wake up, because there was someone else in the room with him. They weren't there before.

'Is that Sasuke again?' He blinked through the darkness and couldn't really make out who it was until a bright light came out in the dark. She had turned on her phone and was looking through something as she stood over his bed. 'Haruka?' She was scrolling through her phone with a face scrunched up in both concentration and concern.

Itachi just found himself staring up at her confused to why she was suddenly in his room. She'd always tried to keep him at a distance, but here she was as close to him as one could be right now; alone with him in his room standing over him.

It took her awhile to look back down at him, and when she did it was only a glance before quickly looking back down to her phone. Itachi thought that was going to be it, but then her eyes slightly widened and she looked back down at him again. He realized it's because she noticed his eyes were opened now.

Haruka let out an odd sound of surprise and quickly-for some reason-put her phone behind her as though she were hiding it-which was impossible since the light was still shining from it. Even with his back vision, Itachi could see she was on some sort of website about sicknesses.

She stiffened, and looked down to the floor-her hair covering her face-but the light was enough to show her face turning red. "...I-If you're awake… A-At least say something…" She, like before, was trying to sound aggressive but it only came out meak.

...It was quiet for a while, and Itachi was confused why she wasn't leaving-since that was what she would have usually done. It was odd, but he was happy to see her staying. Once the light on her phone finally turned off-probably by her finally clicking the button-Itachi began to try sitting up to look at her closer. This caught her off guard and her eyes snapped to him. "Haruka, what are yo-?"

Itachi was quickly cut off by Haruka-roughly-shoving him back down onto his bed. He looked up at her in surprise to her sudden contact. "D-Don't get u-!" She stopped short as she looked down at her hands on his chest, and quickly jumped back-even in the dark he could see her face was a brighter red. She quickly looked to her hands-as they fiddled in from of her chest. "Y-You're sick so…"

He couldn't take his eyes off her. He'd seen her flustered before; in the airport, in the house, and in the car. But this time was different somehow. He couldn't figure out why, but it was different. Just like he couldn't figure out why he was having that that feeling in his chest again.

Then, she looked like she noticed something on the floor, and she quickly went down to pick it up. While she looked around the room for something, Itachi noticed it was the rag his mother had put on his forehead. 'It must have fallen when I sat up. I didn't even notice it.'

Finally, Haruka looked to the bowl of water on Itachi's desk-that was right there to begin with. She quickly began trying to clean it off and rinse it out. Watching her, in her oddly clumsy manner and her flustered state… Itachi couldn't help but chuckle. He didn't really know why, but he just felt a warm feeling from seeing her here grow in his chest, and he couldn't help it.

Once she heard it she glance over to him, looking bothered. "Wh-Why are you laughing?"

He didn't really think about his answer, he tended not to when it came to Haruka, he just said what first came to mind. "I missed you."

...There was a silence that took over in the room, and Haruka was just still…

'Did I say something wrong?'

...Then, Haruka suddenly pushed the newly moistened rag onto his forehead. She held her hand there, as an attempt to keep his eyes covered, but he could see through a crack of an opening and saw her face. It was bright red, her brows were furrowed, and her eyes were scrunched out of frustration. He found it was suddenly harder to breath.

"...Y-You… You're worrying Oka-san, and Sasuke, and… S-So…" Then, her expression softened. Her brows were still furrowed, and her expression strained, but it wasn't out of frustration, it was purely out of concern. "Get better already…"

...There was no aggressiveness, or attempt of it. Her voice was soft and passive. It was something Itachi had never heard from her before, not even when she was little… Once again, that feeling in his chest grew, and he felt his breath stuck in his throat. He also felt heat rush up to his face, but shouldn't that be because of the cold?…

After a long moment of silence, Haruka eventually left the room without another word. This left Itachi, like the night before, at a lost for words.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Sasuke looked down at the pages of his manga, but he didn't even know what he was reading. He was still just thinking about whether or not it was a good idea to send Haru off to Itachi's room. Of course, if it was a few days ago he would think it, but he'd never say it out loud. However, he remembered yesterday, when he looked in the hallway and he saw Itachi standing in front of Haru's room with his face contorted in confusion and red… Maybe he was trying to mess with things that aren't even there, but he couldn't be certain…

Tired of thinking about that-since that's _all_ he's been thinking about since he's gotten home-Sasuke just put his book down and thought back to what he asked Sakura in the halls. Yes he asked for more information about Tsunade-after all, she worked with his dad-and yes Sakura told him she just worked at the hospital she volunteered at. But, what he didn't tell Haru was that Sakura also told him Tsunade used to work as a psychiatrist, and that he'd asked to see a picture of her.

Oddly, when he saw the picture of the blonde woman-who didn't look as old as Sakura told him she was-she did look familiar. Except, unlike Haru, he could actually remember from where, but only slightly. It was when he was young-kindergarten if he remembered right. He remembered images that he'd long forgotten. Images of that woman in their home, and whenever she was there, there was a gloomy aura that hung in the air around her and the rest of his family… Except Itachi and Haru, but that's because Sasuke couldn't really remember seeing them back then… He also remembered that woman would spend a lot of her time in Haru's room, but he didn't know doing what. He also couldn't really remember why he never went into Haru's room, but he thinks it was because someone told him not to go in there-who he can't remember.

...One of the reasons he didn't tell Haru this was because he was still holding a grudge from when she didn't tell him about the nightmares. But the other reason was because, for some reason, he was worried that if he did he'd be bringing up memories that would be better forgotten. Afterall, he couldn't remember much from those days other than the house being very gloomy. And Haru can't remember anything. Something about that fact made him feel sick.


	12. Ignore

"Achoo!" Haru sneezed while she put her shoes in the small locker, and Sasuke looked over to her.

She didn't look sick, so there was nothing to worry about. But, he asked anyways. "Did you get Nii-san's cold?"

To his surprise, she didn't flinch at the mention of him. "No, I'm fine. It could just be the dust."

He would be more concerned about his sister if he didn't already know that she did rarely ever get sick. They once had to spend a summer at their grandmothers, and Shisui had the chickenpox. Sasuke and Itachi ended up getting sick afterwards, but Haru was perfectly fine like if nothing had happened.

Though, he was surprised how healthy she looked; not physically, mentally. He didn't know what happened yesterday when she visited Itachi, but she ended up leaving the room before her "five minutes" were up. Not only that, but she dashed off into her room. However, she looked fine this morning, and didn't look to be in a particular rush to leave the house. That could have something to do with the fact that Itachi was told to sleep in for a while.

Either way, he expected her more sulky and down, and the fact that she isn't… actually concerned him more.

They started heading off to their class together-she made for a good woman repellent-but they only got around the corner before a certain blonde blocked their way. Said blonde grinned widely atq them both-making Sasuke feel a little irritated.

"Heya! I'm glad I saw you guys here, I wanted to ask if you both were free next weekend?" Ino was never really one to beat around the bush.

Sasuke just kept staring at her with a deadpan look, but Haru actually looked at her curiously. "Why?"

"Well remember how we went to the mall to buy swimsuits? Well, I asked Sai when he was free, and he said next weekend. So, I invited him to the indoor pool, and I told him I'd take some friends. So, you guys wanna come?" Sasuke fazed in and out of what she was talking about, and all he got was that she was inviting them to a pool.

Sasuke wasn't one to really like these kinds of things-neither was Haru-but she kept being very emotional lately so he figured going out would help her. So-like with the mall invitation-Sasuke was ready to answer for Haru and say she was going.

Only Haru beat him to it. "Sure, what time?" She said with a casual smile.

_This_ took Sasuke off guard. He knew Haru had been upset with Sasuke for telling her to go to the mall because she didn't even want to go to the _pool_. Now, she says yes like if she suddenly thinks it's a good idea. 'What the hell changed?'

As Ino told Haru the details, Sasuke just looked down at her with a slightly surprised look. Eventually she looked back up at him. "Oh, did you not want to go?"

Shaking off his surprise, Sasuke knew he had to go. Not only would that make Haru more motivated to go-though now he didn't know if she needed the motivation-and he also wanted to keep an eye on her to see how she'll be.

"No, I'll go."

Not only that, but the more he thought about what this was the more he realized something. There's a pool, and Haru will be wearing a bathing suit. Since it's a pool, there will be other people. Other people means other boys. And that meant nothing good.

Sasuke was aware Haru could take care of herself, but she tended to also be oblivious.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haru sighed as she walked back over to sidelines after she was done with her match. She took her usual seat between Sasuke and Naruto, and Sasuke looked back over to her sparring partner. Choji was a typically good fighter, but she left him on his back panting for air, and the match was only a minute. What was worse was that Haru looked perfectly fine. 'Strong as ever I guess.'

Kakashi didn't rush Choji off the mat, and it wasn't because he was in another mood-because he surprisingly wasn't-it's because he said it was the last match.

"Well Haru, you're as frightening as ever, good for you. That's it for today; everyone go and get changed." Kakashi said a little rushed. No one even had the chance to give him farewell because he was off quickly towards the exit.

As Sasuke wondered what was going through their teachers head, he looked down at his sister. She looked confused, but it wasn't by their teacher's sudden disappearance. "'Frightening?'" She mumbled to herself as everyone began to get up to their feet.

He gave a quick nod to Haru as he followed Naruto to the boy's locker rooms-to which the knuckle head was going on about the pool trip Ino also invited him to. He only half listened as he opened his locker, and all his attention left once he saw his phone was flashing that he had an unread message.

Once he pulled it out he saw it was a message from Itachi, so he quickly opened to phone. The first message was a link to an local newspaper article about there being shady people in the area recently, and the next message was a text that read: "Oto-san and Oka-san are busy, but they wanted me to pick you two up when they saw this. I'll be waiting in the parking lot."

Sasuke's first thought was Haru. His second thought was; 'Isn't he sick?'

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haruka always felt sticky after changing, and all she wanted as to go home and take a refreshing shower. So, she was a little impatient while waiting for her younger brother to hurry up so they could walk home together.

As she waited she just thought of this morning, and how all she wanted to do was just focus herself out of all this mess she'd been getting into lately. After she freaked herself out yesterday with how emotional she got-and after mentally scolding herself for hours-she just woke up tired. Just mentally tired from it. At this point she was looking for distractions.

Taking more notes, asking more questions, talking more with friends, asking teachers if they needed help, and even trying a little harder at in her fights. She even agreed to Ino's thing just because she wanted a moment to just have her thoughts on something else. She just didn't want to think about what happened, so she hasn't given herself the opportunity to think… Up until now. Already just thinking about not wanting to think about it has made her suddenly tired.

'I liked it better when I wasn't thinking…' Then she looked up and noticed Sasuke walking towards her, so she perked up. "You took longer than usual." She commented as he made it to her side.

"I got a text in there." Was all he said.

Haruka was ready to start walking, but Sasuke looked a little glued in place. So, now seeing there was something going on she faced him. "What was it about?" He didn't look at her, but she could tell he was thinking something over in his head. 'Is it really that bad?' Feeling a plummet in her stomach when she realized not what, but _who_ it might be about, Haruka quickly grabbed Sasuke's phone from his pocket-earning a loud 'What the hell!' She already knew his password, so once she punched it in she was immediately shown his messages.

. . .Once she was done reading the short conversation from just a few minutes ago, she didn't know what to do… After a long moment of silence, she quickly handed back the phone to its owner. She put on her best poker face as she began to walk towards the exit. "Well, come on, I want to get home already."

She really was just tired of all the anxiety and worrying. All she wanted was to just ignore it, even if she could hear her heart pounding away in her head, she just wanted to ignore it and get this over with.

However, she couldn't the first thought that came to mind when she read the message. 'Isn't he sick?'

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Haru didn't have to tell him to sit in the front, he just quickly walked over to the passenger seat and sit down next to his brother. When he looked over to his brother he was greeted with the all to familiar smile, and he noticed that he looked better than yesterday.

'He may get sick like a normal person, but his recovery speed is abnormal.' "Hi Nii-san." He was casual with his greeting, but he also looked at Haru through the corner of his eyes. She was sitting behind him-like always-and was just looking out the window. If he didn't know her so well, he wouldn't have noticed her eyes flickering from the window to Itachi's face.

Said person just continued to smile as he began to pull out of the parking lot. "Hi Sasuke." It was a quick moment of half comfortable and half awkward-thanks to Haru-silence. Then, he turned out of the parking lot with perfect ease. The streets were quiet as ever at this time-since most people left before clubs started.

They all knew the drive from the school to their house was only a few minutes, and the walk was only about twenty minutes-on a good day. So, the ride wouldn't be that long, but that's if you didn't have someone in the car going that was pretending they weren't there.

"I saw Kakashi walk out of the school. I wanted to say 'hi' but he was quick to getting in his car and driving off. Has he been like that lately?" Itachi was genuinely curious, which would be weird if Kakashi wasn't an old friend from high school.

Sasuke sighed at the question-his homeroom teacher had been a headache. "Today seems to be his pick me up day. Just yesterday he was on a streak of just being depressed and gloomy. It was more than a little annoying." 'If you're not going to teach properly than just stay home.'

Itachi quietly laughed at this, and he had a knowing look on his face. "Well I'm sure he has his reasons." He said this, but he clearly knew what the 'reasons' were.

Sasuke slightly narrowed his eyes at his brother-almost forgetting Haru was even in the car. "Nii-san, has Kakashi told you something?" He knew the two talked occasionally-especially since Itachi got back.

However, Itachi still just gave the knowing smile as he refused to meet Sasuke's eyes. "Nothing much."

"Uh huh." Was all Sasuke said as he leaned back in his seat. Right as he did so he felt his phone vibrate. He pulled it out and saw it was a text… from Haru. 'When did she text me?' He'd thought he was keeping a close enough eye on her, but he didn't notice her pull out her phone _once_.

He just opened the phone and looked at her message, and he almost felt a vein pop when he read it. "Ask him why he's driving when he should be in bed. It's hard to tell from back here, but does he look sick? Ask him if he feels sick."

As he was getting flashbacks from Haru's pestering yesterday, he just shoved his phone back in his pocket, and noticed he could see their house already. "Nii-san."

"What is it?" Itachi asked without looking at him.

"Aren't you still sick?" He asked very uninterested.

Itachi was silent for a moment. "I'm fine now, don't worry about it." Sasuke would have thought nothing of the answer-it was about what he expected-but he noticed two things. One was that Itachi's eyes quickly looked over at Haru-as she tried pressing herself against the door as much as possible-and that he had an almost amused smile when he said it.

Sasuke stared curiously between the two of them for a moment, before he looked out the window, and he noticed they were home.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

'And so X equals 4/6.' Haruka wrote it down quickly on her paper. With that she was done with her homework, so she sighed with satisfaction as she closed her text book. As she stretched her arms up she heard a knock on her door.

She got up from her chair-in no rush at all-and walked over to her door. Once she opened it, she only glanced at who it was and made her way over to sit on her bed. She already knew who it was, and she found it funny that he knocked on her door when she just barged into his room all the time.

Her bed lightly bounced as she all but fell on it and looked up at her brother. "What is it?" Usually he'd only come in here if there was something he needed to say-since his room was where they normally hung out.

Sasuke took a seat on her zabuton at her table, he faced her and leaned back on the table with an expression that didn't _scream_ anything. "I just talked with Nii-san."

Haruka tried not to flinch to that, but she couldn't stop the inward shiver. Trying to just push it aside she looked Sasuke straight in the eyes. "And?" Her voice was-for the most part-even.

His gaze somewhat dropped; not in a way they would if he was hiding something, more so that he wasn't fully committed to the conversation. "Apparently there are some reports of shady people, and Oto-san and Oka-san did see them. Oto-san can't move around his schedule a lot right now." For a few months now, their father has been busy with "work", but they're not allowed to know about it. All "work" stuff is to be strictly hidden from everyone but their mother. That was only because she went with him a lot to "meetings." "But Oka-san said she can, so she'll be picking us up until winter break."

On one hand, Haruka was uninterested in this whole situation; and, on the other hand, she was relieved it was her mother picking them up now. Especially since, if she knew _him_ at all, she was expecting that he'd insist he could do it. 'Though… Maybe he'd like it better this way too. He never liked the idea of Oka-san going with Oto-san to those things.' She remembered overhearing a fight between _him_ and their father a few weeks before his leave to college.

Shaking off those memories, Haruka just focused on what was happening now. With the thought of her mother worrying over this, Haruka fell back and laid on her back as she stared up at the ceiling. "I don't see what she has to worry about, people are always saying they see 'shady' people this time of year."

"You know how Oka-san is."

"Yeah, I know." Their mother has always been kind and sweet, but she's as stubborn as everyone else in the family. Especially _for_ the family.

Haruka rolled onto her side, and reached for one of her pillows. She held it close to her chest and just thought about how they'd have to hurry out of clubs quicker now that they had someone waiting on them.

"Haru, are you ok?"

It didn't take her off guard to hear that question, but it was odd to hear Sasuke phrase it like that-in an almost gentle sort of way that made her happy but also made her cringe. She thought the question over in her head. Of course not. Of course she wasn't ok. Nothing that has been going on lately was 'ok.' She's been going through constant emotional meltdowns, and she no longer feels in control. Everything that has happened has just felt like the universe was teasing her and purposely trying to make her lose her mind.

But, she knew that wasn't what he was asking. He knew her overall status was not ok, but he wanted to know how she was _now_. And how she was now is… "I'm just tired…"

Tired of worrying. Tired of anxiety. Tired of emotional meltdowns. And just tired of being pushed over the edge by every little thing. So, she just wanted a moment-just _one moment_ -to forget everything and ignore all the little things. Little things like car rides and late night visits.

With that she heard Sasuke get up to his feet. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight." He said as he walked across her room.

"Goodnight." He left and closed the door to her room. She was left in her room to just stare off. She didn't think of anything, she just laid there feeling a little lost. Then, with a sigh, she just got up and stepped onto the floor. She walked over to her desk and put away her books and pencils.

Once she clicked off her lamp-sweeping the room in darkness-she heard another knock at her door. Without a thought, she went over to the door, expecting to see Sasuke. However, fate was always trying to make fun of her.

She opened the door, and of course it was _him_. She only looked at him long enough to see he had a patient look on his face, and then she quickly shut the door back up again.

For a moment she was paralyzed and stared wide eyed at the door. The thought hadn't occurred to her that he'd visit her right now, so there was nothing else she could think to do but be surprised. ' _Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?_ ' Was repeated over and over in her head.

Haruka didn't know how long she was standing there until she heard a sigh from the other side of the door, and she _tried_ to ignore the strain when she heard it. Then, she began to hear footsteps walking away from her door.

...Without really knowing why, she drew in a breath as she cracked open her door just enough that she could look through it. Once she did the footsteps stopped, and after another moment they walked back over to her-she held herself back from _anything_.

She knew he was standing right in front of her, and she felt her heart thump loudly in her chest as she felt his eyes on her. Her eyes were pulled closely to the floor-she noticed his plane black slippers. Finally, he spoke. "I know you don't want to see me…"

There was a part of her that scoffed at what he said, because it was the understatement of the century. At this point she never wanted to see him for the rest of her life if it just gave her a peace of mind. After everything that has went on she just wished he'd disappear!... But… But the way he had to say that, made him feel so dejected, that she couldn't help but notice the _other_ part of her that… did…

Either way, he went on. "I just wanted to make sure you were fine, since you slept by yourself." She wanted to be mad. More than anything she wanted to only be mad at him. But, he said it with so much concern that it not only reminded her of when she was a child, but it also made her face feel warmer. "You look alright, but I know how you are sometimes. Did you sleep well?"

...He let the question hang in the air, and he did that thing he used to do. He'd pressure her without pressuring her. With his eyes locked on her, she felt like he was drilling into her; and he would just patiently wait until she gave him _something_. Even before she was trying to hide her feelings, she hated it when he did this. It made her fidget and shift her weight from foot to foot. She knew either he'd wait there, she would answer, or she could just close her door again but not open it again…

She nodded wordlessly.

Even without looking at him, she could just hear in his voice that he was smiling. "That's good. I guess that means you won't need me then." He sounded so relieved in his tone-she was too-but the tone made her feel an uncontrollable plummet in her stomach.

'Why am I still standing here? Why did I even open the door? I should be in bed right now!' She questioned and screamed, but she couldn't find herself able to move.

… "Eep!" Haruka gave a small squeak and her hand quickly went up to her forehead, where the feeling of warmth spread from. She couldn't stop herself from looking up at him with surprised eyes, and she couldn't stop the heat from running across her face when she saw that gentle smile of his.

She caught the flicker of his eyes-what almost looked like shock-but whatever it was quickly disappeared and melted into his kind eyes. "Sleep tight, Haruka."

Caught in the craze that was her emotions, Haruka couldn't think of what else to do other than to quickly close her door. Lost in adrenaline, she dashed to her bed and buried herself into her sheets.

Her face flaring, and her heart beating so loud she could feel it in her head. Once she heard the footsteps in the hallway she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in. It almost sounded like a whimper as she buried her face in her pillow. Her hand reached up to slightly curl at her neck-where she felt there was a lump growing like a tumor.

Once she was calm enough, she tried to shove down the remainder of her adrenaline away. She promised herself she'd just try throwing all these feelings away. Even if not for forever, she wanted to just send them away for a moment-why is a _single moment_ too much?! She didn't want to do this again tonight. That thing where she stayed up late wondering the 'whys' and the 'whats' until she felt her head ready to burst.

The problem, however, was the same as it's always been. _Him_. The problem has always been _him_ ; or, more specifically, what _he_ did to _her_. He'd force her emotions into a state that would spiral until it pitfalled into worry and anxiety and self loathing! … 'But… But what if I just don't let it get to that…?' She quietly wondered.

This feeling he brought to her, was terrible in the way it brought in all the horrible other feelings. However, by itself it was… almost warm… There was a sickening to it, but if she just didn't focus to hard… If she just ignored all things that made it wrong… If she just, until she fell asleep, ignored all the reasons she _shouldn't_ feel this way… It wasn't as bad.

Haruka was no longer physically tired, but she was emotionally drained into the red zone. She didn't want to worry over this, or cry over this all over again. And it only went to that if she thought too hard, so she didn't want to think.

For now, _just now_ , can't she just ignore all the wrong things? When morning came she could worry as much as she wanted-or _needed_ -but, with darkness consuming her small space, can't she just forget all the things that hurt?

As she felt herself fall to sleep, her hand lingered on her forehead-where it was still warm through the remembrance of his touch. Ignoring everything else, and not letting her emotions got to the typical pitfall; she just quietly-guiltily-enjoyed the warmth she felt.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Itachi looked down at his hand, and he kept replaying what happened over and over. He knew it was Haruka that was _really_ asking if he was fine when they were in the car-he could tell by Sasuke's tone and because he asked right after his phone went off. Not to mention Haruka's visit yesterday. Even if she wouldn't say it, or show it, Itachi knew she checking on his health in her own ways. So, he wanted to return the favor.

It'd almost slipped his mind that she'd slept by herself two nights in a row, and he didn't remember until this morning when he woke up in his own-empty-bed. Like his mother said, Haruka had a habit of hiding things that hurt, so he wanted to make sure. Since she was little, it was simple enough to tell if she was lying, and she wasn't. It was more than a relief, it meant that she was better now. It was a little lonely now to sleep by himself, but what mattered was that she was ok.

As he rolled over to his side, however, he thought about her as she stood close to her door. There was something about the way she slowly opened her door wider and wider as they stood there-she didn't seem to notice that she was doing it-that made him feel happy. He was also more than a little happy when she opened her door at all after closing it on him. In a way, she was slowly becoming less and less hostile; and, in a way, he knew it was because something in her was slowly breaking. However, he couldn't help being a little selfishly happy that she was because now she'd _actually_ open her door to him.

What he really thought about, was that look on her face when he flicked her forehead. It was a habit that he couldn't stop himself from doing, but seeing that it wasn't immediately followed by a punch made him happy. The look she gave him was similar-but not as exaggerated-as the look she gave him while they were in the car. Her face was red, her eyes were wide, and her hair was a mess all over again. And, all over again, he felt that unfamiliar tug in his chest. A thought came, and it confused him.

As he drifted to sleep-that expression playing on behind his lids-his confusion lingered. 'I've thought she was cute before, but why is this time different?'


	13. A Cut

" _Uchiha-hime… I-I like you! Please go out with me!"_

_...Haruka looked at the boy as he bowed down at her, and the sight of it made her feel very uncomfortable-almost as uncomfortable as that nickname people at school seem to have for her. She already knew what was going to happen when a boy-who she only slightly remembered-asked to meet her behind the school. This scene was not something new to her, but she wasn't very happy by this either._

_Especially since she already knew how this would go. This was a boy that she didn't even know, so there was no other real answer other than to just say the same thing she always said. So, she just took a deep breath and said it to get it over with. "I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings."_

_With that the boy was quiet for a moment until he finally stood back up straight with a sigh and defeated look on his face. "...I guess I didn't have much of a chance to begin with."_

_Haruka remained silent, not knowing what to say. However, the longer she looked at his defeated look she couldn't help but empathize with that look-even though she knew she shouldn't. "I'm sorry." Was all she could manage to say._

_With that, he put on a forced smile as his eyes got sadder. "It's ok… I think just being near you is enough anyways…"_

_What he said didn't make much sense to Haruka, but she just nodded to him politely, and they parted ways._

She reminisce on another random confession she had-this one was a few days before her and Neji started dating. It was from a boy who she couldn't remember the name of for the life of her. She saw him on occasion through the hallways, and she thought she heard something about him having a girlfriend now. The boy himself wasn't why she was thinking about that time, it was because of what he said about being around her was enough.

At the time she didn't get what he was saying but dropped it, thinking that he could go and think whatever he wanted. However, she couldn't help but wonder about that now. And of course, as it has been for the so long now, there was only person that came to mind when she thought this over.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"What did you write for question five?" Haruka asked as she looked up to the one sitting on the bed.

Black eyes lazily looked down at her and then glanced down at her paper. Before she could hide it, he already looked back down at his own paper. "Same thing you wrote."

Though helpful, Haruka couldn't help but lightly pout over that response. "You could just say it. It's more constructive that way."

"What's the point of being constructive if you just want to answer?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but instead just sighed as she leaned against dresser behind her. As she rubbed at her temple she placed her work and pencil on the floor next to her. "How long have we been working?" Her brain felt like it was ready to burst out of her skull.

Sasuke put his own work next to him as he looked down at her. "Since you walked in here and said 'Sasuke, wake up so we can study for tests that aren't for another three weeks.'" Haruka just stared up at him with a slightly impatient look. Her tolerance was running a bit low with all the practice sheets and uncooperation from her brother. Seeming to get the hint, he just gave her a weak glare. "Five hours."

Haruka's felt another strain in her brain. "That so." She took in a deep breath and let it out again, in order to try waking her brain up a little more. Grabbing back her papers she tried to focus some more. Test were far away but she needed to get it all in as soon as possible to make sure it locked in.

After a moment of silence, she noticed Sasuke as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. She properly looked up at his face and saw he looked irritated. Not just irritated, he looked irritated in that way that told her he was hungry. Which made sense, the last time he ate was when she barged into his room that morning with papers and a quick egg and toast. "I'm going to get something to eat."

She watched him get up to his feet and head towards his door. Feeling a tightness in her own stomach she called out to him. "Can you get me something too?"

He paused and looked over at her. "Why don't you just get it yourself?"

"I want to keep working, and you're going to be down there anyways."

He sent another weak glare her way, but she didn't drop her own impatient look. Finally, with a sigh he just turned back around for the door. "Fine." There was no sign of 'fine' in his voice.

A little gleeful with success, Haruka called out to him again as he closed the door. "Thank you."

She went back to writing down more sentences in english. '...Maybe I should have waited until later to drag him into studying with me.' The only reason she woke him up for it was because she studied best when she had someone to compare notes with. Though, seeing his own patience run thin along with her's, she began to think she was being a little pushy. 'I'll tell him we're done for the day when he gets back.' She concluded as she continued on with her work.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

'When he gets back I'll work him to the bone.' Haruka thought, but she was pretty sure 90% of that was the hunger. She checked her phone and guessed that Sasuke's been gone for about twenty minutes. 'How does getting some food take so long?' She pondered.

Figuring she couldn't work on an empty stomach, Haruka got up on her feet and walked toward the door. As she walked through the halls and down the stairs, she could already hear there was noise coming from the kitchen. At this point, her head felt mushy and her movement sluggish, so she wanted to just quickly eat and take a break.

As she stepped through the kitchen door, she spoke without thinking. "Sasuke, what's taking you so-?" Then, she paused when she realized it wasn't Sasuke in the kitchen, but it was another one of her brothers.

Said person was currently stirring something in a pot, but looked over his shoulder to look at her with mild surprise. "Haruka?" Then, surprise was replaced by that slight smile of his. "Did you need something?"

Suddenly, she felt a heavy weight fall on her so fast it almost knocked the wind out of her, and she couldn't stop herself from immediately looking down at her feet. "...Wh-Where's Sasuke?" She cursed herself for the tumble in her words.

"He went with Oka-san to the store to pick up some things. They should be back soon." As he was speaking, she could hear he resumed stirring whatever was in that pot.

"Ah…" Was all she could think to say. Silence hung in the air, and it was a silence that only weighed down on her more.

Right now, there was no pressure on her. He wasn't looking at her, nor was he speaking to her. In fact, she could just walk out of the room right now and it wouldn't mean anything. The only thing holding her back was that familiar feeling that her feet were glued to the floor. She tried to push herself out of the room to just go upstairs. That would make everything easy.

Then… she took a whiff of the room, and realized what he was making. 'That damn curry…' There was nothing particularly special about his curry, it was as simple as you can make it. It was as basic as curry could get, and everyone-other than the one who makes it-knew it, though no one ever said it outloud. However, when she was little, she convinced herself it was the best in the world purely just because _he_ made it. To this day, her brain has somehow adapted into convincing her it had a completely different smell than any other curry in the world…

She was ready to leave the room-more or less-but now… Now she was a bit reluctant. The smell of a familiar time, her used up brain... Not to mention the thoughts she was having the other night… That will of hers to fight and run away… It was feeling worn out and tired, and to just stand close to him made her feeling almost… Lighter…

"Was there something else?" A soft voice cut through her thoughts.

She only glanced up at his face turned her her quickly, before looking back down to the floor. She felt heat go up to her face, and her mind became muddled. Without thinking, she opened her mouth. "...Do you need help?"

She quickly glanced up to see surprise on his face, and his response was one she already expected. "You don't need to help."

However, once she spotted the vegetables ready to be chopped up she just wordlessly went to grab the knife.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

She stared down at the battered, old thing. It was given to her what was years ago, but recent occurrences made it feel like it was only yesterday. Those days certainly were… something. Her work was fairly easy, especially since the problem more or less seemed to have solved itself, but the impact it had on her as a specialist was something else. Not to mention her own sacrifice in the situation.

As she reminisces she felt older than she was used to feeling, and she felt somewhat tired over the whole ordeal. It was all too much for something she thought she wouldn't have to think about for a while, but time does that funny thing of catching up with you. She couldn't help herself, and let out a sigh.

"Is something wrong, Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade looked over to her junior and pupil. Shizune, as usual, looked more worried than she ought to be. The older of the two straightened up in her seat and lightly rubbed at the back of her neck. "Just thinking that I'll have to go back and fix what I didn't get to before."

Shizune gave Tsunade a confused look, but then her questions seemed to be answered once she looked at what was sitting atop of her desk. "Isn't that-?"

"Uchiha Haruka. Yes." Once again, her gaze fell back to the battered, old photo. It was slightly torn in the corners, and it was slightly discolored after having sat lost in files. However, it was still what it was, a photo of the young girl when she was five years old. She was standing in the middle of a traditional shrine wearing a kimono. It looked like the photo was taken during some sort of festival. The girl herself was politely smiling up at the camera, but the rosiness of her cheeks told that she was feeling more than thrilled. It was all in all a very nice picture of undoubtedly adorable girl.

Shizune fidgeted a bit with the papers in her hand before speaking. "You never really told me what happened with her."

"Oh, right. It happened before you started working for me didn't it…" If she remembered right, Shizune didn't come along until about five years after the whole mess. "Maybe some other time." 'I'm too sober to get into all of that.'

However, to no one's surprise, this only seemed to worry Shizune even further. "Was it that bad?"

Tsunade thought about it. 'It was certainly bad, but I think I just got too emotionally involved that time.' She was able to see in Shizune's eyes just what she was worried about, and she tried to give the brunette a reassuring smile. "I'm not worried about the Uchiha girl. She seems to have herself put together when I talked to her. A little hardheaded, but that's what you expect from her family these days. But, just like her family, she's tougher than he looks. I don't know if she's ready yet to hear all the details, but I think once she starts looking for answers, she'll be more than ready."

With that, Tsunade started getting out of her seat to get ready for her night shift at the hospital. However… "That why _are_ you worried?"

Slightly taken off guard, Tsunade looked at Shizune. 'This girl really has been with me for a while, hasn't she?' Looking back down at the photo, she looked at the person that was holding the young girl's hand. It was none other than her older brother; Uchiha Itachi.

Of course, he was also younger in the photo, about ten years old; and he was wearing his own kimono in the photo. He was also smiling politely at the camera… When Tsunade was working with the Uchiha family, she remembered him almost as well as she remembered Haruka. He was extremely possessive of the young girl, and that was understandable considering. He'd never leave her side, and there wasn't a night that he wasn't sharing his bed with her. In fact, when Tsunade first showed up, he was reluctant to let her anywhere near his little sister. The girl was more or less the same in the way that she'd constantly cling onto him and was in distress if he wasn't with her.

However, the way Itachi was towards her was still a little odd to Tsunade. Protective, yes, but there always felt like there was something else to it. The way he looked at others that came near the girl-that wasn't family-was like he was looking at an enemy. The way he held her told others that they'd have to pry her out of his grasp if they wanted to touch her. But, what caught her attention most was the way he'd look at Haruka. As though she were to break at any moment, and that her protection was important above all else. There was also some guilt in the way he looked at her… Not to mention what he heard the young ten year old did. To say he was a protective older brother is an understatement. Uchiha Itachi, he was something else.

Remembering Shizune's question, Tsunade thought over her words. "I'm more worried that there's someone that'll try keeping her in the dark for as long as possible, whether or not it's for her own good. Someone who is more stuck in the past than anyone else… I'm worried for his sake." 'He seems the type to be very self destructive.'

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Ouch!" Haruka hissed as she felt the knife harshly hit her finger. She'd be the first to admit that picking up a knife wasn't a very good idea, since she wasn't very used to using one.

However, she was only given a split second to ponder over her own incompetence before she heard the loud bang of metal falling to the floor. She flinched and looked up only to to immediately greeted with a worried face. "Haruka! Are you ok?" He asked, but quickly grabbed for her wrist before she could even _think_ to answer.

Despite herself, she couldn't help but look closely at him, mostly because he forced himself into her personal space. To say he looked worried, wouldn't quite cover it. The look he gave her small cut was pure and almost crazed, and it sent a quick shiver down her spine that she felt everywhere. Heat rushed to her face as she felt the warmth and slight harshness of his grip on her. He'd been holding her at night, sure, but it'd been so long since she was so aware of a skin on skin touch from him. Her heart races and her breath felt stuck in her throat. When she lightly tugged for her wrist back, he didn't budge. He didn't even seem to notice. This only pushed her more over the edge.

She forced herself to find her voice. "C-Can you let go…?" Her voice slightly trembled and she could only let out a whisper.

Either way, it seemed to have cut through whatever was clouding in his eyes. He blinked something away from his sight, and finally looked at her. His gaze, now clear, was enough to send another skip to her heart. She felt light headed from holding onto her breath so harshly, but she couldn't drop his gaze. Those familiar black eyes were searching her, and she felt caught in that gaze.

Finally, he dropped his gaze and just looked down at her finger. Slowly he let go of her wrist, and once his grip was gone she pulled her wrist back. Her gaze dropped down to examine it for herself. "Wash it, I'll be right back with a bandaid." With that, he walked out of the kitchen.

She let out the breath she was holding in, and quickly breathed back in. '...The cut isn't even that bad.' She thought to herself. Looking back down at it, it was no more than a small one that was no longer than half an inch. Small drops of blood seeped out of it, but it was still nothing in comparison to other cuts she's had in the past. '...But, he's always sort of been like this.' For as long as she could remember, any time she got the smallest bruise, he'd react overly concerned. It was always exhausting to deal with, and this time was no different. His stare and hold on her would always make her feel warm and shaky.

As she tried to shake away her thoughts, she just went to the sink to clean off the blood that was hardly noticeable. No matter how ridiculous he may be, she couldn't help but still comply to his ridiculous requests. As she dried off her hands she looked down and saw why she heard metal falling. It was the ladle that laid on the floor. With a sigh she picked up the recklessly dropped utensil and placed it in the sink, and she went ahead in cleaning up the spilled curry.

She didn't hear his returning footsteps until she had turned off the stove. Peeking up she saw he held the small thing in his hand. Worlessly, he handed it to her, and she carefully took it from his grasp-careful to not touch him by accident. She then began to open the wrapper around it.

"Does it hurt?"

She took the small band aid out of the wrapper. "...No." It was always a bit difficult for her to wrap the sticky thing around her finger right…

"...Let me see." He said softly.

...She couldn't help herself and handed him back the bandaid, and he carefully took her hand too. She felt another rush through her as he gently held onto her and wrap the little thing with care… Haruka assumed he'd be done once he wrapped it up, but she found he was still holding her hand. The longer he held and stared down at her hand the faster her heart raced and the warmer her face became. She wanted to just snatch it back, but… He had that look again, that look that seemed to melt away all her will.

Finally, a light chuckle broke the silence-and she slightly flinched at the sound of it. "I overreacted again didn't I?" He calmly asked. On many occasions, their parents and Sasuke would tell him he went overboard with his concern. So, he was aware of his action, but he still never seemed able to change them.

Caught by the question, Haruka carefully thought over her words. "...A bit." Another silence hung in the air, and she felt more and more awkward by it. "...Y-You dropped the ladle… You also left the stove on-"

She was cut off when she realized he slightly tightened his grip on her, and he even lightly stroked her hand with his thumb. She felt another rush go up and down her spine at the touch. _This_ … This wasn't something she used to from him… And, for the life of her, she couldn't find it in her to pull her hand away from it…

"Haruka," she flinched at the sound of her name from his mouth-that was closer than she was used to or could stand, "when did-?"

"We're home!" They both flinched at the familiar sound of their mother at the front door. With that, Haruka quickly grabbed her hand back from his grasp, and just paced out of the kitchen to go great her mother.

She didn't even spare a glimpse at him as she left him in the kitchen, and she tried to will her heart to calm down at least by a little bit. And she prayed to every god she could think of to have her face cool down.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Itachi watched her all but run out the kitchen, and he couldn't move an inch to stop her. Nor could he even understand _why_ he wanted to stop her. He just felt… Confused… Very, very confused. Confused over why his heart was racing, and why he felt warm all over. Why?

The closest reason he could think of was that it had something to do with Haruka, but how? Was it how her hand wasn't as small as it used to be? Was it how thin and pale her fingers were? Was it how her hand was still slightly rough from all the training and work she did? Was it because it was so oddly warm in his grip? Thing he found odd sure, but was it really enough to make him feel and act this way?

Not to mention her face was continuously red this entire time-even before she cut her finger-and there was something in him that stirred when he felt her flinching and shivering under his touch. Though, most of all, there was that look in her eyes she kept giving. It was almost… almost… he couldn't figure out what it was. But, it made an odd feeling erupt from somewhere in him…

Then… Then he just thought about the cut… And everything other feeling almost flooded out. It was a small cut, but when he saw it, he felt like his heart dropped for a moment… He felt a small rush of panic… 'No matter how much she may change, she's still the way she used to be. She's still someone I have to take care of…' Is what he told himself, but that stirring feeling wouldn't _completely_ go away.


End file.
